poetry critical

online poetry workshop

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Welcome!

Welcome to Poetry Critical, an online poetry workshop. To post your own poetry you'll need to create a user id by typing a name and password in the box above and hitting 'New User'. If you just want to critique or jump into the discussion, however, you can go ahead and get started!

Random Poem:

As Shadows Fall
OnoNo

Between the idea and the reality
 1
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
In sleep, we die;
 2
in dreams, we are resurrected
 3
 
 
whole, yet divided
 4
 
 
our vision of ourselves, the world
 5
altered ever so slightly
 6
 
 
ever so lightly time touches us
 7
as it rushes, ever onward
 8
 
 
undoing, yet renewing
 9
 
 
could I but ever touch you
 10
so tenderly, so honestly
 11
 
 
 
 
 
 
In life, we die;
 12
in love, we are reborn
 13
 
 
two, yet one
 14
 
 
two souls entwined, intermingled
 15
as one heart, racing
 16
 
 
to face the future, its reward
 17
its consequence
 18
 
 
apprehensive, yet hopeful
 19
 
 
could I but dream your dreams
 20
as you dream mine
 21
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Between the motion and the act
 22
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Thought can move mountains;
 23
faith, seldom; if ever
 24
 
 
there was a time for it
 25
 
 
Once upon a time...
 26
but a beginning for a fairy tale
 27
 
 
steeped in the imbroglio
 28
of the day to day
 29
 
 
I cinch my girth
 30
 
 
I will let bygones be
 31
I will let myself go
 32
 
 
 
 
 
 
An idea can shift the stars;
 33
words, merely hinder their fusion
 34
 
 
burning ever so ardently
 35
 
 
in the silence of space
 36
my voice would rings no less hollow
 37
 
 
immersed in my own selfish
 38
self-interests
 39
 
 
I forgot the true meaning of love
 40
 
 
I will ignore my heart
 41
I will let her go
 42
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Between the conception and the creation
 43
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Be love but an obsession, however dark;
 44
a blindness, a blight upon the soul
 45
 
 
yet even in darkness, light finds it way
 46
 
 
illuminating the secrets we harbor
 47
in our hearts; in our minds
 48
 
 
we crave a conscious connection –
 49
another soul, hopefully, just as soluble
 50
 
 
as we dissolve into oblivion
 51
 
 
if I could but care for another
 52
as I cared for her
 53
 
 
 
 
 
 
Being in love is an obsession, hopelessly so;
 54
a madness, a senseless surrender
 55
 
 
logic, reason, kowtowing to emotion
 56
 
 
ceding to a weakness more enlightened
 57
than primal; more human than animal
 58
 
 
we build with our hands –
 59
we destroy with our minds
 60
 
 
all that we hold precious
 61
 
 
if I had but cared for her
 62
half as much as she cared for me
 63
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Between the emotion and the response
 64
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
As intimacy goes, a little is a lot;
 65
yet a lot is never enough
 66
 
 
it is the way of such things
 67
 
 
if we abandon our fears
 68
throw caution to the wind
 69
 
 
do we pretend that the world
 70
does not matter, even if it does
 71
 
 
it will take care of itself
 72
 
 
in time, my heart will know you
 73
as I know you
 74
 
 
 
 
 
 
As close as we are, dare we draw nearer;
 75
touching, feeling the oneness of everything
 76
 
 
should not some things remain a mystery
 77
 
 
if there is god in everything
 78
then nothing is without god
 79
 
 
to know nothing, and everything
 80
their similarities, their differences
 81
 
 
all that is virtuous, and vulgar
 82
 
 
in time, I hope to know you
 83
as I know my heart
 84
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Between the desire and the spasm
 85
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I wanted her more than anything;
 86
more than anything, I wanted her to want me
 87
 
 
to need me, to be dependent upon me
 88
 
 
I know, that was too much to ask of her –
 89
to ask of anyone – yes, I know that, now
 90
 
 
love is a manifestation of ourselves
 91
we occasionally glimpse in another
 92
 
 
wisdom is the accumulation of knowledge
 93
 
 
that said, all things considered
 94
I grew wise just knowing her
 95
 
 
 
 
 
 
When wants and needs collide, who wins;
 96
which dull ache is the sharpest
 97
 
 
once the basic necessities are met
 98
 
 
other yearnings ascend from the soul
 99
to overwhelm the heart
 100
 
 
love is man’s persistent desire
 101
to be more than which he is
 102
 
 
the mind is muddled by emotion
 103
 
 
the tears I sometimes cry
 104
are not for her, never for me
 105
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Between the potency and the existence
 106
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Vigor is often attributed to youth;
 107
yet, in truth, it never wanes
 108
 
 
at least, not in the mind
 109
 
 
the mind, like the universe
 110
is always expanding – bending, curving
 111
 
 
rushing outward, yet folding inward
 112
until its final moment of collapse
 113
 
 
perhaps I am being selfish; smug
 114
 
 
to want things I cannot have;
 115
to have things I no longer want
 116
 
 
 
 
 
 
To live in the present, one must be present;
 117
not lost, somewhere in the past
 118
 
 
clinging to false hope, empty promise
 119
 
 
when the outcome is a foregone conclusion
 120
even an optimist turns pessimistic
 121
 
 
life is fraught with possibilities, at least
 122
until the brain fires its final synapse
 123
 
 
perhaps I am being vague; nebulous
 124
 
 
when I say, I trust you;
 125
I trust you will infer what I mean
 126
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 127
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Between the essence and the descent
 128
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Where does equivocation end; the truth –
 129
if there is such a thing - begin
 130
 
 
somewhere in that labyrinth that is the mind
 131
 
 
shadows clump, bumping into one another
 132
stumbling in the twilight, in search of insight
 133
 
 
I lost sight of my quintessence - the light,
 134
the illumination, than shines in each of us
 135
 
 
and then, one day, you smiled at me
 136
 
 
O, pliant, yet irrelevant heart
 137
always bent, on the verge of being broken
 138
 
 
  
 139
 
 
Having found the sole weakness in my defenses –
 140
you have overrun my thoughts, my mind
 141
 
 
laying siege to my soul, my castle keep
 142
 
 
whether a breakthrough, or merely capitulation
 143
on my part, I can no longer thwart your advances
 144
 
 
I will accept your terms, conditional
 145
or otherwise
 146
 
 
I am at your mercy
 147
 
 
O, brave, yet redundant heart
 148
such audacity, such capacity, to love.
 149

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