poetry critical

online poetry workshop

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Welcome!

Welcome to Poetry Critical, an online poetry workshop. To post your own poetry you'll need to create a user id by typing a name and password in the box above and hitting 'New User'. If you just want to critique or jump into the discussion, however, you can go ahead and get started!

Random Poem:

nature's girl ( lyric in lou reed's voice )
cadmium

through his brain,
 1
can she see the magic of his eyes,
 2
and, earth's mud liquefied,
 3
smell the magic of his love?
 4
 
 
                            his moans subside:
 5
                           "you don't care about me any more...
 6
                             no one wants sex anymore."
 7
 
 
 
 
she hates confusion,
 8
 
 
it breaks the illusion,
 9
but,  permissible... one or two,
 10
no girls allowed: menage à two,
 11
feels left behind, just nature's toy.
 12
 
 
 
 
flucker-punch the sky, like a guy.
 13
tempo jive, mesmerize his emo.
 14
mean him mental...
 15
in essentials, kill him.
 16
 
 
 
 
sweet dreams of this,
 17
they flutter,
 18
always a first kiss,
 19
vibe and butter; angel,
 20
she do the rightly thing:
 21
lives competent, from books
 22
informio'd,
 23
knows the dark.
 24
 
 
 
 
tonight, she dives the internet,
 25
she types three talks, secretly, afraid of ghosts.
 26
 
 
one: him? he's mental.
 27
and, sexy,
 28
coasts in overdrive: nice hair.
 29
three: he wants to live by rules...
 30
"don't steal," "don't cry, I never think about her."
 31
 
 
 
 
she'd live more like a guy,
 32
but, fanboy loves
 33
his smart girl....
 34
she teened his punk:
 35
 
 
 
 
zipped him down, he slid the street,
 36
hipster 28,
 37
astride his slither. dude.
 38
she
 39
run
 40
him
 41
down
 42
the stage.
 43
 
 
there's danger in the pillows;
 44
better know the moves,
 45
 
 
 
 
you did it raw, in sticky vacuums; entered idols,
 46
ancient queens;
 47
took a powdered honeymoon:
 48
 
 
"jonny hit and run..." for solo jerk-off, trio theme...
 49
they all had method
 50
in the atmo-cene, jonny hit and,
 51
 
 
 
 
what a scene. L-P spin the cock 33,
 52
you're too grreenn, jonny cream...
 53
you can't kill death with vaseline...
 54
 
 
family, sister, all too real:
 55
 
 
hit paul-een, lamer queer,
 56
jealous of your tresses,
 57
and his kisses... little girl,
 58
the it and it
 59
of moany, misty phoney
 60
mattress guy and gal;
 61
 
 
 
 
jelly holy, took it to the Vicodin,
 62
 
 
paid with halloween,
 63
 
 
jazz the cocktail,
 64
jazz a lie,
 65
he's naked in your horny eye...
 66
-- it's all s'ok, you're nature's girl.
 67
 
 
 
 
plastic boy has one more pass on Sodom's stove...
 68
 
 
so, take it,
 69
grab his cock-rock, ride it low...
 70
your highlife laugh, "boy's be so."
 71
 
 
 
 
yo, fly away,
 72
nature's mystery, moves so slow.
 73
don't take him with.
 74
 
 
fuck it so easy, easy melody:
 75
we such friends: poke his animal,
 76
ana-tomies, his wa-wa wo,
 77
he'll play, he's dreamy,
 78
spermy,
 79
sunshine into rain lilacs, love...cock and alcohol.
 80
be that for him. forever real, his
 81
temporary
 82
permanent
 83
salvation: walk like a boy.
 84
 
 
 
 
fuck it, ditch him... you said goodbye before,
 85
felt confident:
 86
something somewhere in between,
 87
"i've seen it all" and "happy."
 88
 
 
 
 
dog hip hippy, there it is, a style:
 89
limp sissies not your dossier, but, still,
 90
he's good at movies, "ho, let's go";
 91
'loves your pussy,
 92
especially when you wear his underwear;
 93
 
 
 
 
and, you don't mind:
 94
all dudes wonder,
 95
where to fit their middle-mind.
 96
 
 
grab the moment, wife his load.
 97
wind it up,
 98
he won't admit he knows he wants it.
 99
mentalize his systemize: click-chick, clock,
 100
                                             you're nature's girl.
 101
 
 
.
 102

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