poetry critical

online poetry workshop

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Welcome!

Welcome to Poetry Critical, an online poetry workshop. To post your own poetry you'll need to create a user id by typing a name and password in the box above and hitting 'New User'. If you just want to critique or jump into the discussion, however, you can go ahead and get started!

Random Poem:

soulburn [edit]
opacodex

My eyes were transfixed on the summer sky,
 1
And I wished to run my hands over the depth of that eve.
 2
In the middle of creation there is no light except from God.
 3
The air is unspoiled, the ground untread.
 4
 
 
My body was filled with expectancy for something greater than the sky,
 5
Richer than the pinpricked velvet that held my attention for the length of the horizon.
 6
A thunderous silence swept over the plain.
 7
The wind stopped and drew me to my feet.
 8
 
 
High above, a shower of meteoric delight.
 9
A miracle of lights.
 10
White gold streaks across the black.
 11
This, contained in the West corner of heaven.
 12
 
 
At first the falling bodies were numerable,
 13
Dropping down a waltz from high to low.
 14
1 2 3, then 1 2 3, then 1 2 3...,
 15
My eyes and ears matching the rhythms in my chest.
 16
 
 
At 1:24 a.m. the stars fell like rain.
 17
The tails of light tasted sweet on my tongue.
 18
They were priceless confection,
 19
Pouring into smiling mouth.
 20
 
 
Countless flash ran down the sky
 21
And was laid to sleep in some distant pasture.
 22
Black hush was cradled high.
 23
Every star did finally run cold.
 24
 
 
Save one.
 25
Quite out of character was he.
 26
He shone brighter and better than the rest.
 27
This was something greater than the sky.
 28
 
 
Not just brighter.
 29
Better posture and a secret swagger.
 30
He was clothed in Green fire and good will,
 31
With riches spilling furiously behind him
 32
 
 
I suppose I stared into it for a while
 33
Because when I blinked
 34
It was in quite a different place.
 35
Not the West.
 36
 
 
Somewhere between 1:32 and something,
 37
The shower came to an end.
 38
The Green one waited till the last meteor blew out--
 39
Till the remnants went to rest.
 40
 
 
Then with a white hot flash
 41
He ripped through the sky and into my soul.
 42
Quite unexpected but not at all unwelcome.
 43
And somehow I was still gazing at him.
 44
 
 
A bright face and strong arms...
 45
Or something that embraced me.
 46
I was at once pulled from my place
 47
And the earth chased after me.
 48
 
 
I saw my new face reflected upon moon.
 49
Found Green riding over to the other edge of the sky.
 50
I followed him.
 51
And I stayed there a moment, mimicking his humor and being held by him.
 52
 
 
Then I realized that it was late in life and that I hadn't accomplished much.
 53
I ran home to make a PB&J and learn some lessons.
 54
He followed me.
 55
And he stayed there a moment, wearing my clothes and being admired by me.
 56
 
 
Well there must've been something in that sandwich
 57
Because as soon as I stepped out to water the lawn
 58
I was lifted from my shoes and into the ocean-up.
 59
I was burning.
 60
 
 
Not with fire that consumes.
 61
This fire gave light.
 62
And mine was Red.
 63
Nice coordination.
 64
 
 
 
 
I was just like Green in size and shape and luminance.
 65
 
 
I knewˇ­because I was right next to him.
 66
 
 
And we stayed next to each other,
 67
Lighting up heaven as we tore across the night.
 68

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