poetry critical

online poetry workshop

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Welcome!

Welcome to Poetry Critical, an online poetry workshop. To post your own poetry, rate that of others, or start a new thread on the message board, you'll need to create a user id by typing a name and password in the box above and hitting 'New User'. If you just want to critique or jump into the discussion, however, you can do that without logging in by typing your comment in the box under each poem or post.

 
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Random Poem:

maybe i could carry your books home for you, or something
X

Or, you and me could be
 1
  post-modernist expressions of cubism.
 2
 
 
Amalgamated adornment trickling from the corners of our lips
 3
(numbed with passion)
 4
   we'd backstroke through ripples of frothy love potion--
 5
The same love potion that lady with the rhubarb robe and the bad weave pours
 6
  down
 7
      2nd
 8
      and
 9
     Burnside's gutter
 10
every other Thursday at exactly 6:03 PM,
 11
  which would just happen to be the time when we'd first gingerly touch palms
 12
with puzzle piece fingers; yours would be warm--
 13
I know they'd be from the way your timid cheekbones wink when you grin.
 14
 
 
  You grin because I'm quiet, because I'm speechless, because I don't know what to say, because I'm befuddled, because you're that beautiful.
 15
 
 
And we'd soak silent sunrays
 16
  tanning in our own obscure, unspoken sentiments
 17
teeming with bite sized "I love you's."
 18
And after swimming, we'd float.
 19
 
 
Beforehand, I would snatch my worn acoustic,
 20
 
 
then we'd float somewhere beyond the chuckling dynamo, but believe you me,
 21
we'd float.
 22
 
 
And you'd whisper to me you're tired of floating, so we'd land for a breather
 23
and have a picnic in a crater on the moon.
 24
While you'd nibble on passion fruit
 25
I'd strum you boy band love songs
 26
(hey, we're products of the '90s)
 27
and you'd have to sing along;
 28
  that way we could weep laughter into each other's arms
 29
because it would be so silly that we'd know all the words--
 30
 
 
then we'd eclipse
 31
 
 
right there, in the moondust,
 32
with the sun longingly peeking,
 33
and we'd leave our initials in a heart that we'd draw
 34
somewhere between Neil Armstrong's footprint and the arch-of-your-damp-back-print.
 35
 
 
Then it would be time to get you home,
 36
and we'd sneak a quick porch light kiss in
 37
before the evening's end.
 38

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