poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Fairy Tales
AEOS

The three little piggies were slaughtered
 1
when they tried to walk Little Red Riding Hood home.
 2
They went to the house where the Big Bad Wolf lived,
 3
and he huffed and puffed and burned them all inside.
 4
 
 
The thick smoke stung the backs of their throats
 5
and they tasted the ash as it mixed with their blood.
 6
Benzocaine smeared on the tips of their tongues,
 7
they tried to scream for help,
 8
but all the kings horses and all the king's firemen
 9
couldn't extinguish that blaze.
 10
 
 
And Little Red Riding Hood went with Alice
 11
to wonderland to play with knives and scissors,
 12
she scraped the inside of her forehead clean
 13
and nailed herself to a wall in the name of God.
 14
 
 
Then Humpty Dumpty fell from his throne,
 15
and cracked open on the concrete floor.
 16
His egg-shell skull was blasted to bits
 17
and yolk streamed into that industrial drain he had installed in the floor.
 18
 
 
Now the fairyland sewer system
 19
smells like rotten eggs
 20
and burnt bacon.
 21





"There is no blessed saviour, there is no blessed sin. There is only the sound of bodies as they're swingin' in the wind. The smell of three-day death down each deserted street, as the dogs pick their way through the bodies in defeat. They're swingin'"

5 Sep 04

Rated 9 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1): 9
Inactive (3): 7, 8, 8

(define the words in this poem)
(99 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

Clann Zu haha
 — dmu_96

all i can say is "interesante" it was a tad scary, but it had good flow.
 — stainedsteel

Sounds like the official poetry of the Brothers Grimm. I liked how the second stanza related to the first, but you didn't blend the others as well. This oughta give me weird dreams, but it's kick-ass anyway. .:8:.
 — FangzOfFire

I find it very interesting that you mixed in God and fairy tales. The juxtaposition kind of caught me off gaurd, but throwing in religion and fairy tales made me like this poem even more! great risk! i like it!
 — ana

yeah. thanks for the comments. and of course, clann zu is quite great.
 — AEOS

all good but that one continuity flaw of what happened to red riding hood.
walking red riding hood home the pigs got burnt in a house.
did they walk her home from the back door to the front door?
what happened to red riding hood!?
do you see?

actually better than good but the red riding hood continuity issue bugs me something rotten.
 — Green_Bench

Hmm...the quote kinda reminded me a little bit of "Swinging the Dead" by DevilDriver. Maybe not though... As for the poem...honestly, Gordon, this isn't the best I've seen from you. I may come back and provide some more comments later when I can think of what exactly it is that I don't like...
 — Davezilla

i'll lok into cleaning up the red riding hood issue, and dave: just talk to me whenever you figure out what it is that bugs you about it.
 — AEOS

and the quote is from a song called "from bethlehem to jenin" by a band called clann zu.

go here and click on the downloads page to find an mp3 you can download. it's a good song.
 — AEOS

added a bit about little red riding hood.
 — AEOS

What a laugh Why have i never noticed this one before ,seeing it only by chance.

Larry quite contrary Lark
 — larrylark

This poem is awesome...really funny!!...i like it  a lot!
 — crazy

this is a really fun poem, and i never really liked fairy tales anyway...
 — bear

0.229s