| So You Wanna Know Why Women go to the Bathroom in Groups
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candykid
| So I’m sitting at a quaint, yet | 1 |
overly-priced Italian restaurant | 2 |
at a booth flooded with a red | 3 |
wine-colored table cloth | 4 |
begging to be drunk. | 5 |
Next to me, a table full of | 6 |
men heckling like soccer moms | 7 |
after a controversial PTA meeting, | 8 |
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and amongst them I faintly hear a question asked | 9 |
by one who is smaller framed than the rest, | 10 |
a question that has remained somewhat of a | 11 |
mystery to men I suppose for quite some time. | 12 |
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With marinara sauce hanging | 13 |
from the corner of his mouth, | 14 |
and a newly streaked garlic | 15 |
smear across the right side of his | 16 |
corporate white sparkling collared shirt, | 17 |
he manages to mumble despite | 18 |
many apparent glasses of table wine, | 19 |
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“So why is it that broads always | 20 |
gottagota the bathroom in groups?” | 21 |
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Many theories emerged, | 22 |
from the I-gotta-powder-my-nose facade | 23 |
to an eventual tale of convoluted sexual escapades, | 24 |
that even the cheesiest of | 25 |
adult film directors wouldn’t concoct, | 26 |
and it was then that I decided to let | 27 |
the boys in on a little known truth, | 28 |
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Slowly I walked to their table when a clumsy | 29 |
hush of voices greeted my arrival, | 30 |
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“Fellas, so you wanna know why women go to the bathroom in groups? | 31 |
Well, it’s the toilet monster. | 32 |
He’s big and green, and he’ll bite you | 33 |
in the ass when you're not looking. | 34 |
But like most men, he’s scared of | 35 |
women in large groups.” | 36 |
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1 Dec 04 |
Rated 8 (7.7) by 8 users.
Active (8): 1, 5, 8, 8, 9, 10
Inactive (13): 3, 4, 4, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10
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(4 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
made me smile.
— InMyBlood
me too.
— psychedelico
hah.
— unknown
:P
— unknown
reads like scene from a 1930's chicago bar.
— unknown
I choose to still believe in the convoluted sexual escapades if you don't mind....
mmm....convoluted
Nice poem
— silly
line 34: "you are" so it should be "you're not looking"
a few spots where you've started your line with "and" (aforbing's cardinal sin # 1)
Beyond that, this fuckin' rocks, dude!
— aforbing
Great poem, superbly effected and had me right there at the table with you
— larrylark
HAHAHAHA!
— Isabelle5
Wow...I never thought I would get such a good response. I started this poem about 8 months ago, but never really finished it until recently because I couldn't get the wording write...and I also thought it wouldn't get such a good response. So thank you guys very much. I appreciate it more than you know.
— candykid
I've always been afraid of the toilet monster. That's why I don't go into the ladies' washroom.
— zebrastripes
Isabella is that you laughing, what a melodious tinkling smile making sound. You should turn it into a poem
— larrylark
amusing with great description, but it reads more like a short story to me than a poem. Very cute, but I can't say I'd call it great poetry.... Good writting, yes. But it just seems like a cute joke to me. Sorry.
Akiikii
— unknown
but really... i'm a girl... and i don't know why i have to travel in a herd to the bathroom.
— omega
Very nice. All the way to the end, held on well. I like ur reason why but how about this one...the reason girls all go to the bathroom together is because its an excuse for them to leave the guys. u could also use the commonly used word "flock" to explain the girls. in the end, a great poem
— EdwardDurden
Akiikii...No worries, I understand. Thanks for your comments. I appreciate it.
Omega...I know what ya mean. =)
Edward, I appreciate it very much. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my work. I am happy to hear that you liked it.
— candykid
Goomba, thatsa marinara sauce kabeesh?
Marina sauce is seaweed maybe?
— unknown
A little anti-climatic but I enjoyed this so very much.
— angelika
angelika...thanks for reading my work. I am glad you enjoyed it.
— candykid
Fat cat's pajamas if I do say so myself... brilliant. (8)
— showme
showme...thanks so very much! I really appreciate that you took the time to read my work! =)
— candykid
Interesting, well-worded and well-crafted.
Of course, the poem is written from a woman's point of view, a fact which limits its applications to high-school talk anmong girls of that age.
— jinx46
huh. i dont get. it.
— unknown
I'm often just as scared of one woman as of a bunch of them. At least with a bunch, I can chatter away and figure someone there will at least expect I may be making sense. With one woman, God help me, I might even have to be the real me!
— wamblicante
ah! great poem!
it's so true too...we always have to go in groups. always. or at LEAST with one other person...NEVER alone. haha...good work
— woman_power
aah.. so that mystery's finally solved! now where's the one about why we men "HAVE" to put the toilet seat down?
Loved it!! (10)
— Sandcrawler
even before i joined PC, i thought this poem a classic :) good job
— FrayedSkirt
I haven't been on this site in awhile...thanks for all the commentary...I really appreciate it!
— candykid
this is a little treasure. a joy to read,
thanks!
— sparrow
Haha. Love the ending! Great job dude.
— unknown
That was the first thing that made me smile all day; I loved it :).
— verao-breve
the style in which you write this is simply awesome- so confident, catchy, and well-done. wonderfull description. rock on.
— lanezfairy
Lanezfairy-Thank you...much appreciated...
Verao-Glad to make someone out there smile! =)
thanks for taking the time to comment on my writing guys!
— candykid
i was hoping for a better punch line to this bit of prose
— joshcoops
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