| The Closet
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CrimsonStorm
| It is my constant fear, | 1 |
The lack of self control | 2 |
that consumes every part of me | 3 |
when my sliding glass doors are open in the | 4 |
silence of the night. | 5 |
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I stare aimlessly into its darkness, | 6 |
Into its hatred. | 7 |
Unable to sleep, | 8 |
I am mesmerized by its | 9 |
horrific | 10 |
magnificence. | 11 |
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It holds all of my secrets, | 12 |
All of my lies, | 13 |
All of my mistakes. | 14 |
Waiting to unleash them into the world. | 15 |
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It is there when I cry, | 16 |
It is there when I breathe, | 17 |
It is there when I think. | 18 |
It will be there when I die. | 19 |
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But perhaps it is just another hole in the wall | 20 |
containing worn out shoes, | 21 |
clothes of mine, | 22 |
empty cigarette boxes | 23 |
and a letter from a boy I once knew. | 24 |
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Or does it go deeper than that? | 25 |
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It pulls me into it’s cold crowded mind. | 26 |
Although I am not claustrophobic, | 27 |
I feel something. | 28 |
A shiver runs up my spine. | 29 |
I am returned, | 30 |
laying in my bed, | 31 |
staring into my own reflection. | 32 |
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Yet it is not I that stares back. | 33 |
As if it were to whisper to me, | 34 |
“I see you, | 35 |
I feel you, | 36 |
I’ve known you for so long” | 37 |
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6 Dec 04 |
Rated 9.3 (9) by 5 users.
Active (5): 1
Inactive (3): 7, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(15 more poems by this author)
(3 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
i really like this. you can identify with it well. in line 25 it should be than, not then, but other than that, well done.
— mylastbreath
I really like this poem; the setting and feel are consistent. Menacing, even if it's been a while since I've considered my anxieties in such terms.
The only suggestions I might have for revision are lines 7 and 10. "Hatred" just seems a bit over the top, as does "horrific;" I'm not sure that the poem has established that sort of reaction, and indeed, I'd prefer the odd relationship between the narrative voice and the darkness to play itself out a bit more subtly.
Good work.
Thanks,
— mikkirat
No problem
— CrimsonStorm
This is awesome man!
Everyone can probably identify with the poem.
We all have "skeletons" in our closets.
I absolutely love your poem.
Rated it a 9+
— AutumnTears
loved
— unknown
i think you should lay a claim
poet
nice roller coastr through anxiety...
— Liliana
wow! i see myself in this. amazing!
— enkantada
this isn't poetry but it reads well as the 'poetic' intro to a novel. if you paragraph this out, i think you'll see where it falls apart. you can't tell stories in poetry, and you can't invent language in a novel.
— joey
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