| "soulmates", or the sad story how we became lonely two-legged creatures
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Ananke
| I was going through deleting posts on my online journal and I found this. I'd completely forgotten about it, since I didn't save it anywhere. There are pieces of other poems in it, and pieces of it in other poems, though, so it must have stayed in my subconscious.
| In love, we reject those who reflect | 1 |
ourselves back to ourselves in terms of | 2 |
the eclipse unseen through steel and fog | 3 |
at the edge of a cliff, in terms of the darkening | 4 |
of the laurel amidst the brighter green, | 5 |
or in terms of the endless procession | 6 |
of Bergmans and Joyces and Sorrens | 7 |
who take turns inspiring us. | 8 |
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For we have given ourselves this faith, | 9 |
and it has become our only faith: | 10 |
in the dilating pulse of an edited mind | 11 |
in the syncopating rhythms of factories | 12 |
producing gaudy ties and empty eyes-- | 13 |
among these we will find an equally horrified | 14 |
soul trying hard not to stand out or be found out. | 15 |
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We will go home together, silently, | 16 |
and not talk until the morning, when we'll find | 17 |
ourselves reflecting ourselves to each other | 18 |
in terms of weighty eyes, and voiceless | 19 |
gestures, or even in terms of love too potent to be kept. | 20 |
Yet even there in the solitude of what we've given up, | 21 |
we will remind ourselves cordially what we still | 22 |
wait for, what we will always be waiting for. | 23 |
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8 Dec 04 |
Rated 8 (7.7) by 1 users.
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Comments:
You know what? this is magic - lose the first strophe and you've got yourself an amazing piece of work.
-- ka
— ka
is good.
— noodleman
Amazing. Amazing. how this poem goes along the sceme makes me want to stand up. It makes me feel like someone is at a podium reading it aloud and proud. It is amazing, i can't explain it, it's so good. The power of the poem, it sounds like a famous poem. This will be the first poem i will give a Perfect 10.
— infinity
twas ka that sent me by this lovely bit: don't know that i'd've found it on my own. so many thousands here.
usually i can find something to say, some small nit to pick ... but here, i find only beauty. i keep it, and thank you for sharing.
— Bloodfetish
I'm glad ist stayed in your subconcious-it'll stay in mine. The last stanza is particularly beautiful and almost strong enough to stand as a poem on its own. Just my opinion, but I'd lose "For" in l9. l13 is awesome.
— Catbox
yeah
— charza
wow!!!!It´S bEaUtIfUl!!!!
— lupita
the beginning doesn't seem to fit in, perhaps reword it/>?
— unknown
wow.
— thomastimm
wow is right.
— CajunMoon
this is a beautiful piece of art. i cant even say anything about it....i dont know what to say except its amazing.
now if i could only write like that......
:)
— woman_power
amazing.
— unknown
You took your title from Hedwig and the Angry Inch- "The Origin of Love" -at least give a little footer to John Cameron Mitchel.. or change the title.
— Cloudless
the title is a reference which is borne out in the rest of the poem. i should have thought it well enough known that i didn't need to document it. titles are taken from lyrics all the time, and the meaning therein changed - at least this stayed true to JCM's driving behind the phrase, at least i think so. i left it there to put a smile for those who recognize it. i don't generally write works cited pages for poetry.
— Ananke
Could you write a longer poem
— unknown
i'm pretty confused by that comment
do you want this poem to be longer?
or do you want me to write a longer poem than this
or are you saying god, can this poem be any longer?
— Ananke
it took me a little effort for the 1st stanza, but then the 2nd and 3rd ... i can only echo the "wows" - beautiful writing :)
— oracle
weighty concept, therefore the lines are dense but accesible to the reader; the way this piece is written is lovely. the last three lines of the 1st stanzas really pulled me in. I also really loved lines 11-12. Be very proud, this is a wonderful poem. thank you. ;-)
— redsky
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