for once i was someone else

for once i will tell you who i really am

     once and for

i

 

weep bitterly

among the papers scattered upon the floor

disjointed notes jotted down upon their once blank surfaces

that contemplate their future.

the room dark as its master

requests it to be.

i sink into my mammoth chair (all brown hair)

my eyes glance briefly at the tall bookcase

filled with various novels of many hues

 

a cup stands at my feet

with the remnants of overly milky chai tea

my knees are crooked up against the desk

my head hovers over my stomach

as i struggle desperately

and gasp for breath

and wretch

and

 

wrinkled and i am old

                   i grow weary

               so i retreat down the mountainside.

but they’re coming

the Torumekians, The Republic

(Stalin, Kushana and Nereddon alike)

the Red Army is really blowing up the street

the bookshelf comes crashing down on my head

the books fluttering open like a thousand paper butterflies

i lose mys elf

 

you picked up the books off the floor in thirty three

and burned them in ber

                         in burlap sacks

like oaths etched in the scorching flames

for decadence and moral decay

 

so much for Oudourakudo

the “King’s Road Paradise” annexation

to construct a land without worry

like the oceans the mountains used to be

space too was once God’s dominion;

and from now on

space will also be the dancing stage of human activity,

forever

       it will probably become unprofitable

we’ve defiled the earth

we’ve defiled the air

and yet we request a new universe

and out into space.

how far will the dominion of the human race

be allowed to spread?

i beg you, please offer a prayer of gratitude that the human race has arrived here

i don’t care what way you do it

 

the Wasteland was born a thousand years ago

many people came to try and burn down the Wasteland

but every time a crowd of protectors came

maddened with anger

trampling the earth and bringing great sorrow

destroying countries

swallowing up cities

they ran until they died of hunger

in due time, their bodies decomposed

 

because we’re alive we get hungry

         we eat to live

i don’t want to die in a place like this

      come and die!

      come and die with a BANG!

so kill me! I’m old and blind.

It’s simple enough.

 

 

somehow, show us mercy

and give us your blessing,

and at the end of our sinful history,

please don’t abandon us to the darkness.

in our despair, please,

give us one fixed star

 

there is no true understanding

only misinterpretation.

 

i utter one final word: