| Lita Ford
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aforbing
| Lying languidly listless | 1 |
on leather lounge chair, | 2 |
Lita licks lollipop | 3 |
lapping to lustful lullaby. | 4 |
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Labeled lackluster, | 5 |
labia lasagna left | 6 |
lurking on lower level | 7 |
of love’s fridge. | 8 |
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Living luxuriously | 9 |
leaves little lull… | 10 |
lines of luscious lucidness | 11 |
leave Lita listless. | 12 |
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Loneliness leaves later | 13 |
on lips of lesbian love— | 14 |
layers of lush, lemony lashes | 15 |
lapping up lousy leftovers. | 16 |
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Less lecherous lyrics | 17 |
left by linguistic ladies, | 18 |
but lower not leverage’s lush | 19 |
landslide of leopard skin lament. | 20 |
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This is in answer to the call for FEMALE rockers. Unfortunately, it came out that it was not STRAIGHT female guitarist, but I tried...
So, as requested--the answer to my previous romp "Rock Stars Need Pussy, Too". Enjoy it!
Oh and try to read it out loud REALLY fast. I triple dog dare you..... |
16 Dec 04 |
Rated 7.3 (7.5) by 3 users.
Active (3): 5, 7, 10
Inactive (3): 7, 7, 9
(define the words in this poem)
(156 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
this seriously rocks...absolutely love the alliteration, tongue twistery thing you've got going on.. ohh, and saying it really fast proved impossible!
— unknown
lascivious labor of linguistic love!
-noodleman
— unknown
This is one L of a poem
— larrylark
your screenname gives you
an unfair advantage
larry!
-noodleman
— unknown
Labia lasagne??? That isn't in any of my cook-books, Martha Stewart included!
This is very witty and slightly edgy. I can't even say it outloud slowly, let alone fast.
— Isabelle5
I didn't find this to be a "tongue twsiter" at all.
Sure, there's a lot of alliteration, but I can read this easily without even messing up once. Alliteration hardly makes for a tongue twister.
I do admire the pretty well-written use of alliteration in this piece, but for it to be a real tongue twister, it needs to have lots of similar sounding words... For instance:
"Alice asks for axes." is a tongue twister because your mouth has to work around the sounds of "asks for axes" because of the "sks" and "xes". The alliteration is there, yes, but it's not what *makes* the tongue twister. "Alice asks for anvils" is more of what you've written, but it's hardly a tongue twister. See how the power is lost? So if you want a tongue twister, you need more internal alliteration too.
The closest you get to tongue twister in this are "luscious lucidness" (l11), "leave Lita listless." (l12). Other than that, I can say this perfectly without messing up, because the inner-sounds of the words are so drastically different. The reason l11 and l12 work as tongue twisters is because of the "LU" and "S" sounds in l11 in both of the last 2 words, and in l12 it works because of the "lee" sounds of "leave" and "Lita" and then your mind thinks it'll be another "lee" sound, but you throw a "lih" sound at them instead.
I think you need to do a bit more research on tongue twisters or perhaps just work on trying to get your internal alliteration flowing as well as your normal alliteration.
I shan't rate this yet, but I will come back and look at the actual content if/when I get time. ^^
Right now this piece seems pretty good, but it's just not enough of a tongue twister, if that's what you're claiming it is.
— Inuki
actually, i have an alternate theory:
the tongue twister is an allusion
to lesbian oral sex, i think.
am i right?
-Noodleman
— unknown
good writing, but with so much alliteration, i can't figure anything coherent out of this. i'll try reading it later and see where that gets me.
— AEOS
Yes... Noodleman is right.... It's not a "True" tongue twister--that's a play on words. Good call. It's done LIKE a T.T. but not really trying to be an authentic replica of the true TT format.
— aforbing
yay!
i finally got something!
i win a medal for gettingness!
woo hoo!
— unknown
this was fun to read. Im a musician so i can relate. you have alot of good poetry i dig.
— popedogg
I know who Lita ford is and though you triple dog dare me> i'am flabergasted to say the least.Read your other poems to your great. I couldn't comment on the one I wanted to. I should of though.
— unknown
JUSMAT
— unknown
Very good alliteration! i loved it.
— unknown
Heh . . . this rocks. The tonguetwister about lesbians . . . how perfect.
— Udnamtam
This poem left me feeling really "L"-evated in mind, body and in spirit!
— starr
its HOT!!!!!!!!!
— unknown
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