Yesterday I stood in line | 1 |
at wal-mart & listened | 2 |
to a racist spew. | 3 |
| |
(Affronted already | 4 |
by the harsh plasticine | 5 |
falsity & uniformly | 6 |
shining masses | 7 |
of product) | 8 |
| |
'fucking niggers | 9 |
don't know they place no more' | 10 |
| |
& I clutched my | 11 |
sole item: (one black pen,inky) | 12 |
white-knuckled & tight-lipped. | 13 |
| |
'you know i aint no racist, | 14 |
i just don't like niggers.' | 15 |
| |
Did I speak? | 16 |
Was I struck dumb | 17 |
by propiety? | 18 |
Cowardice? | 19 |
Or simple shocked | 20 |
disbelief; I stood | 21 |
stock-still & frozen. | 22 |
| |
'don't mean black | 23 |
people, neither. a | 24 |
nigger aint the same | 25 |
thing as black necessarily | 26 |
(her friend murmurs | 27 |
a very southern assent)' | 28 |
| |
I bit my tongue against | 29 |
attacking this woman. | 30 |
blood is unexpected, a warm | 31 |
& visceral rush of adrenalin | 32 |
accomponied its' bitter | 33 |
metallic taste beneath my tongue. | 34 |
| |
'all I know is | 35 |
they always complain | 36 |
about that affirmative action | 37 |
when you see | 38 |
more niggers in white folks jobs | 39 |
than i ever did...' | 40 |
| |
She payed for her things | 41 |
(one box | 42 |
kellog's cereal | 43 |
two packs liggit | 44 |
lights & a single | 45 |
twinkie); nodded politely | 46 |
to the black girl behind the counter | 47 |
(who didn't even | 48 |
feign interest or | 49 |
outrage anymore) | 50 |
& left with her equally aged & | 51 |
defeated friend. | 52 |
| |
My skin & spirit smoldered | 53 |
in tandem to ward off my | 54 |
imminent explosion -- | 55 |
& I mourned my inability to reach | 56 |
out & clutch her withered chest, | 57 |
so tired of my thwarted impulses | 58 |
to shed love on those cold | 59 |
(& ever colder) | 60 |
breasts of fear & ignorance. | 61 |