| A Brief History of Pancakes
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eajohnson1
| Everything dies that does not recreate itself anew. This is the law, the law of cities, the law of tires, the law of rubber trees and maple trees and orange trees and oranges. A law you can eat, drive upon, pour onto your pancakes. But a pancake is an edible virus; it does not reproduce itself, but uses our minds, uses our hunger to do its bidding. You could say “it’s a parasitic pancake” but I prefer the loftier view: since a pancake dies, it does not exist. Only the thought of pancakes is alive, rippling the waters of our minds, image of thick batter quivering like primordial soup, waking us from sleep with insulin desires. | 1 |
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5 Jan 05 |
Rated 8.3 (8.3) by 3 users.
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Comments:
interesting
— InMyBlood
the opening phrase is true of everything.
not sure your need the references to tires or rubber trees at the beginning. whilst i can see where you are coming from with your other examples as they all refer in some way to pancakes i can't see how tires or rubber trees do.
I have a similar comment to make with regard to a law you can drive upon, though i like the expression. the linking between these images just isn't strong enough, and fairly meaningless in context.
you may find that viruses do reproduce themselves. certainly they need a host to do so, but it weakens your argument to state that they don't. switch it to reproduces and it all makes sense. if you consider this change however you don't need the but at the beggining of this sentence. ie: A pancake is an edible virus; it reproduces itself, uses our minds, uses our hunger to do its bidding.
this phrase is nonsense at present 'since a pancake dies, it does not exist' try using an if clause to mirror your argument in the first part and edit the second half of the sentence accordingly. if you see what i mean? it only needs pushing a little, twisting a little to be really quite profound
everything else is perfect. very interesting as inmyblood says (though the lazy bugga should get off his arse and give a proper crit. hehehe) , with a rewrite this could be very good.
Otherwise good language flow, a very interesting and original idea. good eye catching title. and well. it made me hungry. i might even consider posting my history of tea in tribute.
kaleidazcope.
— unknown
A major scientific problem with this is that viruses aren't actually alive; they are simply RNA or DNA wrapped inside a protein shell. They do not carry on any actual life processes The shell has certain protuberances which make it seem attractive to cells. A biological virus must inject its DNA into a cell. The viral DNA then uses the cell's existing machinery to reproduce itself. In some cases, the cell fills with new viral particles until it lyses the host cell, releasing the virus to propogate throughout an organism.
A pancake, or any other form of matter does, in a sense, create itself anew. The laws of conservation of energy, mass, and momentum ensure that the physical components of the universe are always with us, in one form or another. It may never end up an a pancake, which is a concept and an ontological construction, but the atoms o' pancake will live on until the end of time, or whenever they are converted to energy.
Is it an image of a pancake or simply the resolution of hormonal implications? Good question.
PS: I liked the poem.
-noodleman
— unknown
One day, I'm gonna be as smart as noodleman.
— unknown
P.S. I liked the poem too.
— unknown
i LIKE WAFFLES!
— unknown
This starts like a car commercial but ends like a poem. I think I like it.
root
— unknown
Noodleman - read more closely. Something about a virus is alive, since it keeps repeating... but since it is not the physical item (as you said, a virus carries on no life processes) it must be the information. The idea of a virus is alive. The instructions are alive. Exact same as a pancake. The phrase "since a pancake dies" takes a little license with this, admittedly. But saying "if a pancake discorporates" doesn't have the same ring to it. :)
— eajohnson1
wat is this thing about
— unknown
I don't understand your concept.
— unknown
OK, I still really like this piece, but there is much editting that I would confer upon it:
The first time I read this it was seamless, but upon further investigation it seems kind of carelessly put together. You have taken much poetic license and written a beautiful and fragrant argument, but along the way you lost the substance and you lost me with your train of thought by leaving too much unsaid, or said in ways that don't complement your ideas, except for maybe the last sentence, which is what I loved about this piece the first time I read it.
This is like a delicious chocolate, that you bite into and turns out to be hollow. It still tastes good, but I wish you would add the nouget, man. Add the nouget.
— root
i make pancakes, i eat pancakes.... i OWN pancakes --T and C house of pancakes
— unknown
Root: I agree with you. This is temporarily abandoned, however.
— eajohnson1
This is an interesting Quasi philosophical poem that flows nicely.Maybe it could benefit from being reassembled into a less prosey looking format.
Larry tossing Lark
— larrylark
i like the prosey-feel--i think it adds to the sense of interconnection of everything. doom! doom! and humor
— Xiada
I may never eatn another pancake!
— wamblicante
yeah yeah this is so amusing ha ha i love it, although i do not love eating pancakes. so well done!
— Xiada
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