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Like Sky
winze1sm

Mother, I had a thought today,
 1
that maybe the sun sets to the West,
 2
because it's never tried another way,
 3
That it's freedom to choose,
 4
is as real as me being free,
 5
from you.
 6
Even the sky deviates from blue,
 7
as a sunlit rain stripes it with hope,
 8
or angry storms turn it green to cope.
 9
As day turns to night,
 10
into the dark escapes light,
 11
unharnessed is the pitch black of the sky.
 12
 
 
I can not be consistent like the sun,
 13
but persistent like the sky,
 14
to expose my true feelings.
 15
When day turns to night,
 16
I must be free to take flight,
 17
after the light to find an answer.
 18

12 Jan 05

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Comments:

Come on, maybe the sun sets to the West because it's never tried to go East???  I don't understand this piece.  It's taking the long way around to say, "I'm free to choose."  

It's trying for drama and the attempt at it shows more than the realization of real drama.  How about trying to simplify?
 — Isabelle5

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