Comments:
comment come on its not that hard
— SweetPain
touching and sweet. kind of corny.
— unknown
I love this. I love when Dad's fall in love with their babies.
— Isabelle5
His blue eyes
rolled upwards reading this poem
Babys are the hitlers of the future
— unknown
haha i find your opnion humurous unknown. i do appreciate people with odd or radical ideas about society :P.thanks for being entertaining!
— SweetPain
ggggggggggggggggggggggggg
— unknown
I'd remove Ls 4 and 7; the poem is short enough so the reader can remember the subject without repetition. I'd also change the phrase 'baby precious', it's quite cliche and there are plenty of synonyms for precious. Also, please do capitalize and punctuate it.
But it's your poem, so do as you please.
— FangzOfFire
line 6 made me think of "As Good As it Gets" when Jack Nicholson famously tells Helen Hunt: "you make me want to be a better man." For that reason I'd say throw that line out and figure out something more original. I LOVE the last 3 lines.
— Charlie
"they emoted her inner beauty" is an awesome line, bravo
— tragicbubble
i changed it, hopefully for the better :). thanx for all the critiques!
— SweetPain
This is adourable. The repitition has almost a captivating effect. I cant beleive your only 15!
— unknown
I can beleive you are fifteen. This is so corny! Think of something interesting to write about.
— unknown
um no im okay, you can if you'd like unknown.
— SweetPain
sweet.
— unknown
thanksss
— SweetPain
|