poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Open Beneath
tragicbubble

One day this will all drift away and
 1
what will you say when you’re
 2
standing beneath a silver cross
 3
beneath a wooden beam beneath
 4
a sky that screams for the further of
 5
a father never meant to be, never meant to stay
 6
but did anyway,
 7
and you are gracious for the
 8
memory and honestly I never
 9
believed in forever anyway but
 10
when the man with his arms around my
 11
waist tells me forever is just forever
 12
and I that I shouldn’t just believe in
 13
never;
 14
I do.
 15

22 Jan 05

Rated 9 (8.3) by 2 users.
Active (2): 9
Inactive (3): 5, 8, 8, 9

(define the words in this poem)
(46 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)


Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

wunderbar. ich leibe.
wonderful. i love.
 — onklcrispy

This is really good. Love the breathless way it is written.
 — sam

This poems doesn't hope of the page like many of your poems but it is still very well done but a little vague.
 — krookedsk8r

Thats cool , just commented on your stone poem and this came up .
Very nice .
Say hi to J .
 — unknown
Top Rated (expand)
Newest (expand)
Recently Commented (expand)
Recent Best (expand)
design & code copyright donald tetto. all poems copyright their original authors.
0.51s