| i hate love poems.
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shakeit
| i've been meaning to post for a little while. it's not too old.
i'll never give it to the person it's meant for, but sometimes i wish i had the guts.
| this, another empty winter morning | 1 |
it smells like yellow pavement | 2 |
crows perch on top of high lamp posts | 3 |
calling to each other, or perhaps to me | 4 |
last night i thought of all the billions of stars | 5 |
i've wasted half of them just wishing for you | 6 |
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i hate love poems. | 7 |
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they smell like cheap perfume. | 8 |
this morning i gave my heart and soul away | 9 |
on index cards written in black sharpie | 10 |
because if i didn't get rid of them now | 11 |
they'd end up with you tomorrow | 12 |
you're reading this, right now | 13 |
i know i won't even have to show you | 14 |
because you care about me, about what i do. | 15 |
and i hope that good things happen to you | 16 |
just so you can tell me about them when you get home | 17 |
i can't see you, but i know your smile | 18 |
and i can see you smile in my mind | 19 |
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do you know how happy you make me, do you know how much i love you? | 20 |
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because i sure don't. | 21 |
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this poem is starting to sound | 22 |
like all the ones i hate. | 23 |
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do all people in love think the same way? | 24 |
do their brains turn to paste | 25 |
as their hearts turn to gold? | 26 |
all these words i'm thinking | 27 |
they sound just like all the other stupid love poems | 28 |
and i write them, and erase, because | 29 |
damn... | 30 |
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i hate love poems. | 31 |
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30 Jan 05 |
Rated 8.3 (7) by 3 users.
Active (3): 8
Inactive (9): 2, 5, 6, 6, 7, 7, 7, 7, 8, 9, 9
(define the words in this poem)
(32 more poems by this author)
(6 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Add A Comment:
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Comments:
smille - whats that supposed to be ?
and I just dont like this at all. I dont like the concept of you saying, you hate love poems yet your sorta writting one. this needs alot og work. (2)
— SweetxMemory
i actually like the irony, this is good stuff...
spelling errors in L8 (smile) and in L27 (turn)
this is pretty good stuff, just needs some tweaking
— dmartin
I really like the iron, sorta funny really. But "sweetxmemory" if your gonna give someone a 1 or a 2 then don't rate at all. Good work shakeit.
— unknown
actually sweetxmemory, that's the whole point of the poem.
before you're going to criticize, try to look at things from an artistic perspective and not a literal one-- you ARE on a poetry site.
— shakeit
I know what you mean. Every time I try to write a love poem, it sounds like it has already been said, written, and sobbed over. It is really difficult to express an individual love poem, something "original". Love poems are so urggghhhh! oy veh and all that blah. I did like your poem though. I am glad to know that I'm not the only person who thinks this. (;
— ducktape
There are some really good parts of this poem, including L5-6, which just makes me want to smile until my face cracks. Though it started off well, the it (no offense) progressively became worse. I wouldn't italicize the can if I were you, and I think the end had too many question marks. With some changes, this can be an excellent poem!
— cuishanying
I wrote a love poem tonight. I think it sucks. :)
I kinda like this, it has its moments. The first two and a half stanzas are very nice, and it sort of crumbles from there but then pulls back in again. Sort of. It's not the most beautiful piece of writing in the world, but I did enjoy reading this.
— wendz
I absolutely dig this poem!!!!!!
I can not really write good happy poetry but you kick ass with this one.
— AutumnTears
sweetxmemory doesn't even have any poems poster herself. What a hosebag. Loooooooooooooooser.
— unknown
I like the idea, but even an anti-love poem is cliche.
I think we owe it to ourselves to read and comment on every random poem. If we just skip through all that and go right to our own poems, then, we will end up finding nothing has happened. If everyone read and commented on the three random poems they see during their stay at the site, this site would work the way it was supposed to.
— noneisreal
i like the irony in this poem
— unfabulous01
i love lines 24-31, its a very good dramatic ending, it makes you feel so many emotions, how you start with 24 and the deep questions and end with those words that just make it creative. i love the theme and the imagery and how the poem goes along. Very well written
— infinity
i love hate poems.
-noodleman
— unknown
i LIKE it, very good
— unknown
i like this
— unknown
I thought that you have an amazing talent and I think you should write more about this topic. The poem made me think of alot of stuff in my life. I thought it was really good and very deep and it sure as hell inspired me.
— unknown
woo. sweet.
— miteOFfakdIT
i love it!
— unknown
L1-6 and L8-19 are brilliant and i had to hold my breath.
but the mood is confused, and i know the irony but the idea of hating love poems is so trite.
L30 "damn..." seems really out of place to me, and i just don't like ellipses. it's too dramatic and doesn't seem matter of fact enough which is part of the desperation of the poem. like, i-hate-love-poems-but-i-can't-help-but-writing-one-it-just-is.
— ileviyou
This is amazing! I can completely relate to this well done!
— unknown
I agree with some of the others, I can totally relate to this as well, I also like the natural flow
perhaps I would change lines 22-23 though.
What about this:
" right now this poem sounds,
like all those which I hate/ like those which I have claimed to hate"
— sparrow
no, i don't just claim to hate them.
i really do hate them. i hate love poems, and that's the irony of this poem.
changing the line would ruin the irony and just make me look like i pretend to hate them and secretly write them.
i really do hate them, because everyone and anyone can put words together in a specific order, but i feel that there should be some way to prove in words that I am really in love, not like all those others that write poems for lovers.
get it?
i do hate them.
it's not pretend.
that's the point of the poem.
thanks for the feedback, though. i just thought i should clear up any confusion.
— shakeit
seems more like ranmbling thoughts than it being an actual poem.
there is no real structure, and using words like 'stupid' make it seam sophomoric.
Poetry isn't some emotional vomiting that anyone can do, it takes work, revision, and more revision.....readers generally do not care at all how someone feels. You have to make them interested by using captive images, interesting NON-CLICHED thoughts, and a fitting rhythm.
— unknown
bllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeuuuuuuugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
— unknown
Sorry, I can't get into this.... :-(
— unknown
i agree. i really cant get into this poem. im not the biggest fan of free verse. i agree with the unknown 3 post up, on everything except the part where not everyone can write poetry. of course they can. poetry is some emotional vomiting, just put together in a way that you can make the readers feel what you do. and this website is made to help people make their poems better. overall i give it an (7) mostly becuase i can relate to this topic. id give it a (10) if you give it to the person it is ment for =).... other then that. this poem needs some rhythm. keep working on it.
— newpoet17
i hate them too.
— raskolniikov
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