| Confessions of a Drug Addict
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SweetPain
| Seething heroin is what i crave. | 1 |
When that next hunger strikes, | 2 |
For an intense high. | 3 |
When that vermillion poka-dot sunlight washes over | 4 |
me. | 5 |
And the butterflies come and play in curly, orange grass. | 6 |
The dosages get higher and higher. | 7 |
As does the risk of my death. | 8 |
When will my wirling insanity stop. | 9 |
So i won't be this sick lonely soul. | 10 |
Now I sit alone, in death's alley. | 11 |
Waiting to be raped for the last time. | 12 |
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8 Feb 05 |
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Comments:
WOW! this is so moving.
— unknown
tiny typo missed your eye
it is my possibly-misplaced understanding that this cited drug is not actually very dangerous, not short-term, anyway..that is, there is no death toll to speak about. One or two? Someone shall correct. I'd -think- that the more likely drug of crave, of current-wild popularity woud be "crystal meth" or any of the aritficial mophiates such as Vicodin: the drug with a Rush (Limbaugh). The substitution of "heroin" for "extasy" would be better yet. For this is more like a heroin poem.. uh,,, no.. I have heard that heroin is not so "intense" but it is dreamy. Crystal meth then, woudl be your drug of choice for this poem.. To those who are not into drug culture (myself is one such) then I suppose the poem is moving and powerful no matter what the drug-name. You might even sub-in "marijuana" for that matter, then.. but then 'way too many will guffaw and say.. that a drug-tragic poem written by a non-drugger (you) is lacking realilty and credibility. Overall,,, forgive me.. I do not discourage -you- but I must say..to many this poem will strike as a bit maudlin and overwrought evne though it is short and clear in intent and packaging. I give you a good number anyway because your reason for doing this topic is noble. Noble counts big in my book. Thank you. -netsky-
— netskyIam
thanx sooo much nestskyiam! how do you know i don't do drugs or not?
— SweetPain
I don't really understand the refrences to "intense highs," or "wirling insanity" either because like NetskyIAm said, heroin is more dreamy. It's like being wrapped in the warmest, most comfortable blanket imaginable. I think what would make this poem a whole lot better is if you didn't mention heroin at all, but instead used imagery and the like to show us that scag is your drug of choice. I like the phrase "seething heroin" though. I thought that was kinda cool.
— Charlie
thanx a bunch your a great help!
— SweetPain
i added some to it. is this what you ment by imagery charlie?
— SweetPain
"how do you know i don't do drugs or not?" I don't ... but I am more than three times your stated age. I know I did drugs when I was near your age. I know much about what drugs do to people. I do not see any real, personal experience with drugs in your poem. That's just -my- take. I hope you avoid drugs. This is hard to do, especially these days. The best drug is also a cliché': a hug and a turning out of life-sorrows by helping others stand tall. To help a pure stranger is the best gift you can ever give to yourself. Your message-poem above is just that: an example for others to take warning by. I hope and expect the best for and from you as you continue your maturation to adulthood.. You've got the right heart, already. You are safe. You shall never forget these meager words of mine because open praise is rare in this world. As you grow older the praise -may- come less often. But the ones that count most are the praises we get while young. I never got a one, myself. I did drugs, instead. And this is one reason I encourage and laud your right-headedness to stay on track and never look down, but instead, help some other person. An old man or a young girl; it's all the same gift to them... and to yourself. You know this already. I merely reinforce this reality for you to remember better, forever. NOW this was a maudlin commentary. But totally sincere and genuine. Therefore, valid. -netsky-
— unknown
"waiting to be raped for the last time" is an interesting closing line for this poem. What made you use the word "raped"? I agree with Netsky, you're noble intention is obvious. :) ~Q~
— Quichemarie
I gues you have to lok at it through the point of view of a heroin addicr hooker, to understand the last line as well as the whole poem.
— SweetPain
I used raped because its such a strong and it hits so deeply with people, its seen as something hideious and unforgivable. Also it kind of ties in with the whole being a drug addict hooker, you know the drill.
— SweetPain
i think that if everybody that was addicted saw these poems they would seek help, and put the drugs down. i think that it would open there eyes and make them relize that doing crystal meth isnt the way.
— unknown
I tried to liek this poem, having gone through the drug addiction thing. But I think its because I have been a ddict why I didn't liek it. I jsut don't feel it as much as I should. Not bad but when dealing with such a strong issue I would expct stronger emotions.
— Solstice
its hard to evoke emotion when i have not actually gone through this. so i can understand your point. my poem in many ways is to narrate and kind of expose.
— SweetPain
thanx for that solstice.
— SweetPain
this was very touching
— unknown
i don't like the first two lines, bbut i love love the rest
— unknown
Ok, i like lines 4 and 5 but the thing about pixies just doesn't fit. Maybe if this were a poem about shrooms or acid it would fit, but it just looks weird in a poem about heroin.
— Charlie
i just found your comment Charlie and does butterflies sound better?
— SweetPain
its stupid to do any type of drug u freaks
— unknown
To Unknown: I would like to make it quite clear that i am not advocating doing drugs. This poem has nothing to do with making it okay to do drugs. It is a persepctive, poem and if you read the other comments on this message bored it has it's moral cause. This poem is about drug addiction prevention and , maybe effecting a person who reads this in a way that they will not want to drugs or stop doing drugs. Thank you.
— SweetPain
lines 7-9 not your best -- would help, i think, if you'd faced the beast, felt it's claws in your throat, spent a night or five with it in the gutter pissing one another, fed it your last dollar-fifty-2 for just one more fix
surrounding that is juicy ... you've got the feel ... and line 12 is perfect
— Bloodfetish
Thankyou very much, i think this poem has a long ways to go before im statisifed with it but it will get therre eventually.
— SweetPain
Why did you wait to be raped? was there a queue?
This is probably a noble attempt at writing about the dangers of drugs, but its strange and feels uncomfortable and false.
Like when grandma told me to take off all my clothes so she could take a look at my toothache
— mr_e
it obiously needs work i know, but this is and was one my poems that turned into something from which i could build on so my writing could get better. And all these comments helped me greatly, thanx mr_e.
— SweetPain
charlie - herion yes is well sort of like a warm blanket but the needle gives you a rush once it hits you then you get that warm blanket kind of feeling. thats where the "intense" part comes from.. and wirling insanity comes with heavy drug usuage..
— unknown
A poem that trys to show the reality of addiction instead of romanticising it is already good in my book. I especially like L1 and L8 -12. I agree that you might want to research the actual effects of heroin so that you could be more accurate.
— skinnyJon
Write about what you know.
— unknown
I agree. You have to write about what you know. You can't write successfully about anything if your reader knows more about your subject matter than you do. That doesn't mean you can't successfully write about addiction at all. You should just stick to writing about the way it actually has affected you, from your own real perspective, not from the perspective of an addict if you've never been one. This poem is weak and I hope for your sake it never gets better.
— nakedowl
That last comment may have come across as rather negative and that wasn't my intention by any means. I just remember having trouble with my writing many years ago and the absolute best piece of advice I ever received to this day was "Write about that which you know more about than anyone else. If you don't stick to this, there will large flaws pointed out by those who know more about your subject than you do." I guess I just repeated myself. Sorry. I just found that my writing improved greatly by following this advice.
— nakedowl
This Sucks!!
— unknown
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