| of greenness, grayness and fishlike things
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Rixes
| and here I go again | 1 |
writing a poem that has absolutely no future. | 2 |
it will probably be discarded or jettisoned into the sky | 3 |
to some far off planet where the waters | 4 |
are naturally green and turbulent, | 5 |
killing all the fishlike things nobody cares to cuddle. | 6 |
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blame those graying moons that spin forever, | 7 |
chipping and cracking and falling into the oceans | 8 |
since nobody gives a damn | 9 |
about a moon. | 10 |
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someone should cry, | 11 |
but they won’t because it’s nights like they tend to forget | 12 |
sympathy and I tend to look up through my dust- | 13 |
covered windows and imagine such a green planet with broken moons | 14 |
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serenading in the sky | 15 |
shining off the oceans | 16 |
into the sunrise. | 17 |
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for everyone, especially wendz
edited. |
10 Feb 05 |
Rated 7 (6.5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 6, 7
(define the words in this poem)
(138 more poems by this author)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
Too bad the printer won't print straight to toilet paper, wiping my ass with your work is making me uncomfortable.
— noneisreal
haha, I mean. That just seemed like the thing to say at the time. Good poem.
— noneisreal
Umm, I like this poem, but find myself wishing the narrative voice was scaled back just a little bit. The framework and introductory lines are fine, but lines 12-13 and 17-18 call too much attention to the poet. I like having the poet present well enough, but then want to read about the poem's fate & all the lovely images which follow without reference to sanity, creativity and reason.
Love the fish-like things and the broken moons. Oh, and the poem, too.
Thanks,
— mikkirat
Ok.
-Rixes
— unknown
Edited. Someone leave a comment, please?
— Rixes
Line twelve feels slightly fragmented, I think it's the "it's" that makes it feel so. I don't suppose you've read "The Sirens of Titan"? The moon references make me think of that. I love l6. This is such a beautiful poem, I adore it. Thank you for writing this, your words are always such a pleasure to read.
— wendz
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