| beautiful in love with you
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Rynne
| I am most beautiful | 1 |
when I am in love. | 2 |
I know, | 3 |
in the same way | 4 |
the leaves know to turn, | 5 |
and the dogwood | 6 |
knows to bloom, | 7 |
that this is what I was made for. | 8 |
As sure as I was meant | 9 |
to breathe, | 10 |
I was also meant to love you. | 11 |
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Before we had form, | 12 |
before our mortality | 13 |
was firmly struck within us, | 14 |
we must have seen each other | 15 |
across eternity, | 16 |
(both of us just shining potential then) | 17 |
and known our purpose. | 18 |
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How many times have | 19 |
we been birthed into existence? | 20 |
How many times have | 21 |
we taken a final | 22 |
breath? | 23 |
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There are reasons why | 24 |
I find myself distracted, | 25 |
something whispering at | 26 |
the back of my mind, | 27 |
shadows of times past, | 28 |
but even if I can't remember | 29 |
those times, those lives, | 30 |
you, | 31 |
Beautiful One, | 32 |
I always remember you. | 33 |
Eyes and | 34 |
smile | 35 |
and | 36 |
scent and | 37 |
your-fingers-on-my-skin-- | 38 |
I | 39 |
will never grow tired | 40 |
of falling in love with you. | 41 |
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I am not afraid of death | 42 |
because I was made to love you. | 43 |
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for the gunslinger |
24 Feb 05 |
Rated 7 (7.3) by 2 users.
Active (2): 6, 8
Inactive (3): 6, 8, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(47 more poems by this author)
(2 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
this is nice.
cliche[as most love poems are] but had some nicely original elements in it.
— shakeit
this made me want to keep reading, and even though this is a romantic poem, we must keep romance alive! i'm giving you an 8.
— sassybnyss
Umm, this is very good, but I have a suggestion: consider the possibility of removing the object of affection in the poem. Let the poetic voice stand on its own; I would think the first stanza one of the most amazing poems I've read here if the "you" was dropped from the last line, leaving, "I was also meant to love." I was totally drawn in by the first two lines, "I am most beautiful/when I am in love."
It would take extensive reworking, but for example, lines 29-33 could read,"but even if I can't remember/those times, those lives,/I always remember love."
It's just a suggestion, of course, but I'd rather not this 3rd person interfere with the relationship between the poetic voice and the reader.
Thanks,
— mikkirat
AWESOME
— unknown
adding it to my favorites! Nothing I would change. Damn, I LOVE your writing style.
— OwlGirl
Thank you Owl!
— Rynne
This is classic love poem.
— Isabelle5
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