I glimpsed him gliding between trees
splashed with dappled shade,
purposeful, measured footsteps
like breakers over sand, hand trailing
shadows of larch, laburnum, elm,
waving over a wheat field ocean,
crossing mackerel shallows ,
trembling finger on tiller
maintaining forward motion.
I shout, he does not hear.
My breathe hisses into fields of rye,
while he exhales shimmering air,
passing by opening gates to anchor
on a lake that lies smooth as glass.
I move past him, we both raise a hand,
like dreamers acknowledging what
they think they've seen.
25 Feb 05
Rated 8.7 (9) by 3 users.
Active (3): 8, 10
Inactive (4): 5, 8, 9, 10, 10
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Is he dead? If yes, then this is really, really good. Well, even if he isn't, I like the opaque feel of this writing. Children missing the parent by a hairsbreadth. Such a universal thing.
the careful, measured rhythm combined with rich language and imagery -- breath-taking ...
The texture you've given this poem reminds me of Jane Kenyon; that's the highes praise I know how to give.
Type-o needs a space between the comma and measured (in line 3)
Thank you for your sensitive and much appreciated comment.
Exquisite flow and dream-like feel, the last three lines are particularly poignant. Line eleven makes me think of Holden Caulfield, and how lost he's been all his life. That adds to the tone of the poem, not sure if it was intentional though. Nice work Larry.
I don't know who the gentleman is that you refer to,could you please enlighten. Thanks for the comment
Beautiful imagery - will keep re-reading this one.
Oh, LarryLark...this is absolutely moving and powerful poetry. I'd love to share my "father" poem with you. This poem just "popped up" as a "random poem" when I signed on. It's so beautiful. Thankyou.
btw...LarryLark...I gave it a "10." It deserves more though.
16/17 seem a little whimsical, and give a weakened ending to such promise
A space is required after the comma, I see at least one other has mentioned this! Fix it on a lark, will you?
Glad to oblige.
Larry spaced out Lark
I think i see your point but maybe it was all a dream.
Larry as dreamers do Lark