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death on a february morning
psychedelico

We fell in a hardened heap
 1
on bloody sheets, with our arms
 2
locked in uncomfortable positions
 3
around each other. The forthcoming
 4
sunrise burned our unadjusted eyes,
 5
and for the first time I saw you.
 6

28 Feb 05

Rated 6.5 (7) by 2 users.
Active (2): 7
Inactive (1): 6, 8

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Comments:

This is wonderful. I think, though, that it is too compacted for such a beautiful idea. A couple more lines would make it quite an interesting read.
 — OKcomputer

Wow... speachless. Good? Or bad? dunno but it does something.
 — Delicatelie

I would decapitalise everything. Just with regards to the content matter, y'know. Then I reread the title, and saw that it was all in lower case. So yeah..why not make everything in lower case? This is a wonderful piece of work. Like OKComputer, I wish there was more. Perhaps another one with the same idea but longer? Nice work.
 — wendz
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