poetry critical

online poetry workshop



she loves me not?
innominate

she says, “I said it,
 1
but;” I swallow her excuse
 2
so that I will choke.
 3

11 Mar 05

Rated 8 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 8, 8

(define the words in this poem)
(6 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

not a bad little minimal in haiku style.
 — ka

My only rub is with "I will choke" - break the rhythm and seems like you are trying too hard to stay within the confines of the haiku - maybe "I can" or "I may" would be easier on the ears.
 — WordsAndMe

0.479s