poetry critical

online poetry workshop



theosophies
netskyIam

.
 1
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Reincarnation:
 2
2 tbsp. evaporated milk, 8oz. water.
 3
stir.
 4
for, not from, self contented cows
 5
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Christianity:
 6
jesus creeps
 7
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Judaism:
 8
all-beef franks, skinless
 9
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Islam
 10
sing:  two girls for every boy
 11
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Mormonism
 12
schizophrenia in  homespuns
 13
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
the Tao:
 14
grow with the flow
 15
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Agnosticism:
 16
don't know/do care
 17
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Atheism:
 18
insurresurrection
 19
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
the unknowable:
 20
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
.
 21

15 Mar 05

Rated 6 (7.5) by 2 users.
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Inactive (2): 5, 7, 8, 8

(define the words in this poem)
(181 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

ah... lotsa space


clever thoguh
 — tragicbubble

  Space emphasizes the lack of content.  sort of like religions, eh?
much sound, little content and little content.  Thank you
 — netskyIam

Very witty. "Don't know/do care". Love it.
 — jessi

It's not as clever as it could have been. With religious satires, you need to be scathingly witty. this isn't, it just seems to throw random thoughts together. Agnosticism was alright, but the rest didn't go anywhere.
 — wendz

Hi wendz.  Points taken.  Say, I don't suppose there has ever been a -briefer set- of descriptives put together? I coined a word to help describe militant atheists.. it's pretty scathing, I thought... clever.. I thought (lol)  Judaism and Islam are just sophmore humor, yes.    Mormonism is dead on..  and for those in other countries, "Carnation" is century old name in the evaporated and condensed milk business.  I'm surprised that no writer ever made that particular joke-connection before.  "jesus creeps" has more than one sensing. I meant it in -only one way-, and not in the obvious sense.   Thanks for the inputs.  If you or any commentor can make alternate suggestions or -additions- for the poem, by all means, do so.   Thanks thanks and again... tanks, Shermans!  -netsky, hard-core corn addict-
 — netskyIam

huh?
 — unknown

interesting.
i liked it very much.
 — lyom

Good general idea. I started off strong, and I like your thoughts, but it seems more like something you'd see on a humorous website than in a poem.
 — unknown

Good general idea. I started off strong, and I like your thoughts, but it seems more like something you'd see on a humorous website than in a poem. I like the spaces. They show a lot of void, which is, I'm guessing, what you're trying to convey.
 — unknown

thanks.   I don't know that this oddity is really a poem, either.
However, as "the world's shortest" essay on theosophies" (joke)
it does contain poetic allusions of a sort.  Then too, so do jokes, I suppose.
My only "fave" is the atheist one, for which all the others were made so there could be a set.   Thanks very much again,,,, reid.  
 — netskyIam

and this is a poem?
yeah
more like bullshit
 — nicolecote

very different. i should quit saying that. you are a different kind'of guy. anyhow : speachless... and alot of following!
 — misterpoet

nicolecote is right, all formalized religions despite the best intentions of their founders and adherents end up indistinguishable but much more dangerous than the proverbial bovine excreta. now i'm lost in the void between enlightenment and spiritual poverty, pass the pastry plate please, fine corn fritter this one
 — unknown

hehe
very clever
howzabout remove commas
L5?
i think it may add?
 — unknown

Interesting jabs at nearly every "ism."   Clever and stinging.  Why so much space?
 — Isabelle5

interesting..

~Virgil
 — unknown

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