poetry critical

online poetry workshop



灰及び塵
Inuki

灰 そ 私 ゆ
 1
及 れ の っ
 2
び は 中 く
 3
塵 同 心 り
 4
    類     私
 5
    を     は
 6
    味     嘔
 7
    わ     吐
 8
    う      す
 9
            る
 10

右側から左側に読まれる

5 Apr 05

Rated 10 (5.7) by 2 users.
Active (2):
Inactive (10): 1, 1, 1, 1, 2, 7, 7, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(259 more poems by this author)

(3 users consider this poem a favorite)



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!




?

 — noodleman

灰及び塵
灰及び塵
それは同類を味 う
私の中心
ゆっくり私は嘔吐す
右側から左側に読まれる

Ash and び dust
Ash and び dust
そ れ は similar を taste わ う
Private の center
ゆ っ く り private は vomits す る
Right flank か ら left side に □ま れ る

My best shot at a translation
 — john

www.systransoft. com
(on line translator)

even easier the author add the translation.
 — Caducus

At times like this I wish my computer supported the right language set...
 — unknown

put them in lots of little white boxes and let them die.
 — kaleidazcope

This is awesome.
 — unknown

all I know is that it looks pretty.
 — unknown

Ash そ my ゆ
1
And っ of れ
2
As for び medium く
3
Dust same heart り
4
    Type   & nbsp; me
5
         ;
6
    Taste      嘔
7
    わ   &n bsp; 吐
8
    The う      it does
9
         ;    る
10

From the right side it is read on the left side
 — unknown

although i cannot read this because my computer doesn't have the right text stuff to--

i would like to say that all the white boxes sort of make a lop-sided person looking thing.
 — youthculture

LOL @ youthculture.
Man this is bad ass. I recognise two characters--"middle heart" in the second line. It would be cool if you gave the Jap translation with the appropriate meaning, rather than direct.
-wendz
 — unknown

don't tell anybody what this means
 — onklcrispy

On my home computer, this reads ????!
-wendz
 — unknown

what??
 — Uncriedxtear

lol
 — Odin

/>
 ですが、すげぇぇ。 
 — joecifur

LOL YEA! JAPANESE WRITING IS TIGHT!!!!!!! lol i dont understand it but ITS TIGHT!!!!!
 — unknown

i put this in an online translator to try to get an idea of what this is about, and some words that i got were: the ash, dust, private, and, center, dust concentric, kinds of private, tastes vomit, to spit, Right flank, and left side.

from all that, i get nothing of a poem, but think that this is probably pretty cool.  i wish i could read chinese. (i think it's chinese...)
 — woman_power

Sorry, ate my previous comment.

嘔吐 />
 そして、ゆっくりはちょっと。。
 — joecifur

I get it now! It's either ongoing repititions of your girlfriend's box or perhaps yours!Ooooo, baby! Sexy and hot! Wow! I love a good box over and over and over and...!
 — unknown

A question mark
verging hoizontal
cut to a yellow "t".
 — Meadow

I feel sadly that I cannot communicate in this language.
 — OKcomputer

I understand you Ok, i can't make heads or tails of this
 — Gabriella

translation


veggie dumplings 3.25$
sesame chicken 4.00$
3 hot thai girls   1.00$

orders under 10$ not accepted

have good day
 — unknown

sorry i can't critique this b/c i don't speak or read this language.  so no rating and no help.
 — ducktape

This is Napoleons battle formation at Waterloo and if you didn't intend it to be then its one of the greatest historical-poetic coincidences since the dawn of time .This is just so far out,a bit like Josephines tits.

Larry like wow Lark
 — larrylark

A picture without words ... this is more like art.
 — unknown

باهر
 — Bloodfetish

no more questions, bummer!
 — Meep

00000
   000
00
0000
00000000
00
  0000
        O
 — unknown

woe chineese! fun hahah sooo uh whats it mean?
 — reese

DEFINE THE WORDS IN THIS POEM


Overview for "nbspnbspnbspnbspnbspnbspnbspnbsp"

Sorry, no matches found.
 — unknown


そ 私
ゆ  
及 れ
の っ  
び は
中 く
 — unknown

THIS IS NOT CHINESE- DR VU
 — unknown

and my writing was called "not poetry" what is this/
 — unknown

Gosh Western languages and graphology are aesthetically dull aren't they? I have no idea what this says, but it looks absolutely beautiful.

x
 — musicwords

I do not know what this means, but I like looking at it.
R
 — Rousseau

美しい。 あなたの詩は私に魔法をかけた
 — verao-breve

my new favorite poem. much less thinking to be done than any other. i love it!
 — humblebee

At best:

Ash and Dust mankind

And private forgive Gray
And what is the
Most of which are men
Dust them Care
We       Privacy  

like      is

to       vomiting!

taste!


He left them the right to be rehearsed He is the Lord
 — trochee

it reminds me of the matrix.
 — unknown

right
"the matelix"
 — unknown

This comment has been suspended by a moderator.

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