| kids
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hank
| sunlight dappled kids | 1 |
speed downhill trailed | 2 |
by dust | 3 |
and by flopping ears and rolling | 4 |
pebbles with that distinctive | 5 |
odor of musk that is so | 6 |
heavy | 7 |
that it also | 8 |
bounces along the dirt track | 9 |
sometimes catching the kids | 10 |
and getting ahead of them so | 11 |
that you don't know if | 12 |
they're coming or going | 13 |
| 11 Apr 05 |
Rated 9 (9) by 2 users.
Active (2): Inactive (-1): 9 (define the words in this poem)
(234 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
i like kids. — noodleman
yeah, kids are alright — hank
wait a minute. what do you mean? actually, don't answer that. — hank
ok, needleman. go ahead. talk about the kids. — hank
the door is open — hank
i dunno. i like kids. — noodleman
livinglies is going to get jealous — hank
You could be my daddy, noodleman. — jusmat
this is good in the way that i have nothing to add -succinct and well-written — guelah
ummm very deep lol no i liked it good work and want is up with the guy that likes kids what dose he mean by that ????
-lAsTlIe — unknown
i loved peter very much when i was a little girl. i wanted to be his friend and run with him in the mountains just like heidi did. this reminds me of that. it's a little sad when your only experience of something is from the television. but i can console myself that we did get to chase cows from the garden with a wide teacloth on occassion.
you made the scene come alive with deft and economic splashes of sight, touch and smell. rare to see someone write with every sense.
kaleidazcope. — unknown
thanks kal. very nice critique (glad it went in my favor on this one). pc misses you when your gone. — hank
Noodleman really likes kids. He reminds me of the guy in the black car with tinted windows and sunnies on.
I envy how you can describe things so simply and vividly without cluttering them up with junk. Your titles are..er..sometimes lazy though. :)
-wendz — unknown
no. thank you. i hadn't thought of peter and heidi for a long time.
kaleidazcope. — unknown
yeah wendz, been thinking about that. but i like to leave a lot open in a title, try to let it sing instead of state. after my last post it was nice to get back to one little word. — hank
I love the smell of kiddie musk in the morning. Smells like victory. I mean Vicks Mentholyptus.
The answer? I think they're coming. Bumpy road, puberty. Was that a trick question? — ollylama
Kids are that way.... — unknown
yeh, olly's here! — hank
is that similar to the bus giving you a hardon? — hank
a goat named woody. — hank
dude, you get off on busses? i can see how the tailpipes are pretty useful but you can burn your thingie. — ollylama
I MEANT I LIKE KIDS. — noodleman
GODDAM PERVERTS. — noodleman
everyones writing about kids these days. notice? look at the newest. — unknown
kids r us — unknown
Simple and pretty. I raised three myself. Are the flopping ears on a dog? Great poem! — wamblicante
wamblicante, are you serious? and you have this as one of your favorites? whew. — hank
i'm glad you like the poem but...unless you're a farmer... — hank
I also have 3 kids! My son smells like this poem.:-) And I want to grab this poem and squeeze it. — smugzy
you've got to be kidding. — hank
Omit line 8, please! Would make the peice so much stronger.
Enjoyed! — WordsAndMe
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