sunlight dappled kids
speed downhill trailed
and by flopping ears and rolling
pebbles with that distinctive
odor of musk that is so
that it also
bounces along the dirt track
sometimes catching the kids
and getting ahead of them so
that you don't know if
they're coming or going
11 Apr 05
Rated 9 (9) by 1 users.
Inactive (0): 9
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i like kids.
yeah, kids are alright
wait a minute. what do you mean? actually, don't answer that.
ok, needleman. go ahead. talk about the kids.
the door is open
i dunno. i like kids.
livinglies is going to get jealous
You could be my daddy, noodleman.
this is good in the way that i have nothing to add -succinct and well-written
ummm very deep lol no i liked it good work and want is up with the guy that likes kids what dose he mean by that ????
i loved peter very much when i was a little girl. i wanted to be his friend and run with him in the mountains just like heidi did. this reminds me of that. it's a little sad when your only experience of something is from the television. but i can console myself that we did get to chase cows from the garden with a wide teacloth on occassion.
you made the scene come alive with deft and economic splashes of sight, touch and smell. rare to see someone write with every sense.
thanks kal. very nice critique (glad it went in my favor on this one). pc misses you when your gone.
Noodleman really likes kids. He reminds me of the guy in the black car with tinted windows and sunnies on.
I envy how you can describe things so simply and vividly without cluttering them up with junk. Your titles are..er..sometimes lazy though. :)
no. thank you. i hadn't thought of peter and heidi for a long time.
yeah wendz, been thinking about that. but i like to leave a lot open in a title, try to let it sing instead of state. after my last post it was nice to get back to one little word.
I love the smell of kiddie musk in the morning. Smells like victory. I mean Vicks Mentholyptus.
The answer? I think they're coming. Bumpy road, puberty. Was that a trick question?
Kids are that way....
yeh, olly's here!
is that similar to the bus giving you a hardon?
a goat named woody.
dude, you get off on busses? i can see how the tailpipes are pretty useful but you can burn your thingie.
I MEANT I LIKE KIDS.
everyones writing about kids these days. notice? look at the newest.
kids r us
Simple and pretty. I raised three myself. Are the flopping ears on a dog? Great poem!
wamblicante, are you serious? and you have this as one of your favorites? whew.
i'm glad you like the poem but...unless you're a farmer...
I also have 3 kids! My son smells like this poem.:-) And I want to grab this poem and squeeze it.
you've got to be kidding.
Omit line 8, please! Would make the peice so much stronger.
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