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rewind. present time, collide.
shakeit

long time no see, eh?

a spoken word piece that just flowed fully out of my brain. the first of it's kind for me.
it's a very raw piece at the moment and that's why i'm putting it here-- i know it needs some work.

crits and comments on this one are very much appreciated.


i am in tip top
 1
shape to flip flop your
 2
body, soul, and mind
 3
to the drip drop
 4
hip hop, fantastic
 5
ecstatic fanatic
 6
sound of the crowd
 7
while i swing up, down
 8
 
 
we'll come back to this.
 9
this is the end and it's not
 10
where i should begin to beguile
 11
the mind-blowing flowing growing story
 12
that i spit so strategically.
 13
 
 
so stop.
 14
 
 
rewind, back to another time. it's time for
 15
another place, where i am forced
 16
to face the faces of my peers
 17
while the gears in my head spin
 18
again. forcing me to forcefully
 19
jump from my skin and tear down
 20
all the walls that were whirling
 21
all the way up again.
 22
 
 
so stop.
 23
 
 
then i saw you.
 24
standing back in the back, behind the empty
 25
minds that surround us so surely. coolly smiling
 26
all the while that i'm stuttering and stalling, stupidly
 27
staring at the bearings that hold this world
 28
together, trying to make you understand but you
 29
who couldn't stand to stand under, how could you
 30
possibly understand my plan. bright blazing blue eyes
 31
blaring into the back of my brain boring into
 32
the boring depths of everything
 33
that i ever depended upon depending
 34
upon sending my neverending unbending
 35
will. that just bent and broke.
 36
utterly and entirely in it's entirety
 37
into entire pieces in it's peace.
 38
 
 
so stop.
 39
 
 
this isn't the beginning. this is the end
 40
because where i begin to find you is the
 41
brief ending of every single vibe that you are
 42
sending to me. so stop staring so hysterically
 43
so there will be a little bit left of me.
 44
 
 
so stop. present time, collide.
 45
 
 
i trail behind the trail of your foot
 46
steps, stepping to the one, two
 47
step of the stomping stratego of the stars
 48
in your eyes. and i come to see
 49
while we come to be, while we
 50
come into being, being that which once blew away
 51
everything we ever knew. i can feel my heart start to stop
 52
starting to stop starting. to stop. so i start stopping
 53
my chase, chasing my tail and turning back
 54
upon the trail because the train is starting to derail
 55
and then when we fail it will be a surprise.
 56
 
 
fast forward.
 57
 
 
so instead i find myself finding you under me
 58
but not under standing, not standing under
 59
but under and not standing at all. swinging to the
 60
singing cheer of the ringing in my ears.
 61
or was that yours that was ringing
 62
beneath the beating defeating blows
 63
of my fists, clenched. so it shows like
 64
the shows that you can't stop
 65
showing to all your fiendish friends.
 66
the blood isn't mine but it's more on
 67
my mind than yours from what
 68
i can see that oozes oh so ornately
 69
from that crackling crushing crack in
 70
your skull.
 71
 
 
so stop. rewind, present time, collide.
 72
somewhere in the middle, i find me.
 73

25 Apr 05


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(32 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

Ive read this like seven times and still cant think of a damn thing to say about it.

Devin
 — unknown

are you good speechless or bad speechless?
 — shakeit

i think this poem has potential. as of now although most of it is upbeat it is a little long winded. maybe shorten it and keep only what you think are the main verses in there. the beginning was confusing but i thought a very good reflection of the title.
 — my_adonis

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