poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Marilyn m. reads ee.

Marilyn lingers
on a page;
on a poem
in a bookstore;
"for it's spring,"
she murmured,
curving in "puddle
past "Bettyandisbel
playing hopscotch
and jump rope"
through hawthorn
and may flower,
we are born again.
She laughed
and laughed.
Her lips
caressed the spring air.
She was blown
to a  place
where someone
"whistled  far and wee,'
''Queer little
balloon man
far and wee."

An homage to ee cummings and marilyn monroe.

27 Apr 05

Rated 7 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (3): 7, 9, 9, 9

(define the words in this poem)
(947 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


i reread this a few times to try and find something i personally feel needs improvement so i could write something other than "aaaa this is awesome".

the only thing i could come up with is L23 & 28. the repeat draws away from the ending, which is what really made me gleeful.

glee glee glee
 — youthculture

i like your poem a lot but i don't like your chosen layout at all perhaps it should be shorter in length and wider in width
 — bettalpha

not so sure about lips caressing spring air
but the rest is a dance both far and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
sorry, got caught up in the moment. ....
i like the layout, and am not the least disappointed that it was monroe and not manson
'scuse me while i dance again
 — Bloodfetish

Dear Bloodfetish

Try a Tango. Glad you like it.

Larry dark heart Lark
 — larrylark

hardly a dark heart
i know a shining lark
when i dance with one.
 — Bloodfetish

Dear bettalpha
Thanks for the constructive crit.i will consider your suggestion very carefully.

Larry high wide and handsome Lark
 — larrylark

I'm sure ee and marilyn are smiling wherever they are now.
 — midare

Dear Midaire

I sure hope so, thanks for taking the trouble to read.

Larry far and wee Lark
 — larrylark