|The Japanese Girl / with the munchies
The Japanese Girl
with the munchies:
"I am so honey"
and i knew she was.
"I have dry mouse"
and i felt that this was true.
"But I'm bit hungry,"
and all i could do was smile.
4 Mar 03
Rated 8.7 (8) by 5 users.
Active (5): 7, 9, 10
Inactive (15): 3, 4, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10
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(6 users consider this poem a favorite)
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what a statement on american-japanese relations and worldview. how cute!
lmao....that was really cute...hahahha
I love the first 5 so much.
This makes me hungry. It's Very Close, so everything feels on breaths. My compliments.
I love this poem that just came up random. I can see the scene and feel the accent. Splendid piece!!!!
I agree this is well done!
I'm not too keen on the bit x 3 in l9-11, tho.
but that's just me.
I like "wishpered" heheheh.
this made me laugh out laud and re-read it five times smiling hard. this was joyous.
youre right bb. it bugs me too. i have to think up something else...
i like the bit x3, works for me.
yeah i just changed it. i removed "chomping" so the three bits seem to work ok now.
no name poet?
well it's absolutely perfect
forget it ......
I don't get it?!?!?!?!?!
This poem made me smile hard.
Odd. In a good way.
i like it a lot. however i'm not too keen on the leaving the "i"s that refer to you uncapitalised, seeing as you capitalised the ones that refer to her. i don't really see the desired effect.
I can't believe I never commented on this. Oh, maybe because I wasn't on site then.
This reminds me so much of the movie Full Metal Jacket. But not exactly, which is good because that was sleazy and this is just funny.
Very good poem
but why unknown?.
wishpered is deliberate? if so i love this word joining
love line 3
i love how it makes me question every single word in the poem and derive a million possible meanings, none of which are intended probably, but the possibility of them gives the poem that much more.
wish/purred - fantastic
read this many times but never commented, just great great communication
^ so why unknown, how can the thanks be reciprocated.
this would be big in English-speaking circles
silly and good, gnormal.
this poem is super happy fun time number 1 !
a little silly, but that's not a bad thing.. :)
arigato, mr roboto!
what do you think of "Yoko"?
i mean as a japanese girl's name, Mong?
i think it's a lovely name :)
i would love to speak it into the ear of a girl named Yoko...
This site confuses the hell out of me. It seems the only poetry deemed "worthy" is mostly nonsense or stuff like this. Yes this is sort of cute with it's play on words but I personally didn't find it all that interesting or poetic--please note I said "personally"--I feel the attack building already...
I try to be open minded and I (again personally) feel that what is considered poetry is deemed by the author and not the reader. Having said that I almost get the feeling that the major players here want, more than anything, to appear to be far more "artsy" than they actually are. It almost feels like--"If I don't get it, it must be poetry but I can't tell anyone that I don't get it because that would mean I'm not as artsy as I want everyone to think I am."
And yes, I am posting this anonymously as I'm not in the mood for a personal attack. Maybe I lack the required literary sophistication for this particular site or the type of poetry favored here is not for me, I don't know, but as stated, this site confuses me to no end.
Author please note--the above wasn't directed at your poem in particular and my apologies for ranting in your space.
last unk, you'll find that the author of this piece
writes in different styles if you try to do a little
research on him. there has been some serious
issues going on lately so a bit of loosening up
could really vent some steam out.
you're just acclimatizing and that's understandable.
followthru? (lest we the reader question the stereotypical integrity of the piss)
ass day wood halve eat,
wor[l]d piss two every one end ol'.
Entertaining - altho one wonders if a "nip" would be amused.
Terrific conceit and nice light execution.
I would consider a new title; it's a missed opportunity to enrich a short write, and the repetition takes some of the punch out of the first line.
I might also rephrase S1, losing the cap in "Girl" and writing "has" instead of with, disposing of the fragment to set up the poem.
I am assuming the "i" is lower case on purpose.
Perhaps remove quotes and use Italics instead? Or not.
italics scream, quotes mutter -- better to use the position of the phrase in the entire piece as the emphasis marker.
ignore the pedophile cadmium / James Bauer