| Have You Been Awake Much?
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ducktape
| Have you been awake much? | 1 |
He is old—you could touch | 2 |
His scream will brightly spark | 3 |
Yet desire cannot end night. | 4 |
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4/3/04 laopteku aopt niopght. |
1 May 05 |
Rated 8 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (3): 7, 8, 8, 9
(define the words in this poem)
(70 more poems by this author)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
any comments? any at all?
— ducktape
c'mon people. this poem is so short. it won't bite you. the poem wants your advice.
— ducktape
you're gonna make my poem cry...
— ducktape
...
— ducktape
You've started off quite well actually, but for me the last line doesn't quite cut it, perhaps rewording or change it completely. Good though, (7)
— Lilac
the words are beautiful.
could you cut the word yet entirely?
it would be better then. it did not bite me. thank you/
— noodleman
*the word "Yet" in line 4
— noodleman
nice.....i like
— GoThIcSlUt69
thanks for your comments. noodleman, were you saying that the last line should stay the same with the omission of "yet" or changing it more? (;
— ducktape
What?
— Isabelle5
What's "What?"
— ducktape
What are you doing, what is this about, what can we comment on? No idea what this is telling me.
— Isabelle5
Oh, okay. I understand ya now. Well, when I wrote this, it was very late at night, and I was pretty tired. I was intentionally going to make this into a poem with maybe 12 more lines added (aka 3 more verses). Unfortunately, the moment of my inspiration for working on this had been taken away and I no longer understood why I wanted to write this poem. Sorry to leave you with such a strange explanation, but as my director in theatre always says, YOYO with this poem. Please try to give it your own meaning--your own interpretation. That's what makes the art of poetry so beautiful.
— unknown
sorry, that was me.
— ducktape
Nice. I like the concept and the wording. Very nice indeed. :)
— Rhein
thanks
— ducktape
Is scares and confuses me because I do not understand it. It makes me think of death.
I'm sorry, you probably think I'm emo or something, but no, I meant like a peaceful death, like a sick man dying in sleep, or a depressed person overdosing and simply falling asleep and letting their troubles melt away.
I don't know why I think these things, but I do. What is you interpretation of the poem?
— Lia
I like it when people give their own interpretation of a poem. It gives it more artistic value and awesomeness. (;
— ducktape
It makes me think of a young girl in love with an older rock star? maybe?
— Cloudless
maybe (:
— ducktape
I just realised that I love this poem so much.
— Lia
cool. thanks a million, my friend. (;
— ducktape
ooh... I kind of know what you refer to but don't want to feel it. He is old and wants to sleep, but what prevents it? -C
— unknown
good.
— listen
in many ways it could make notion that a prevention of sleep is caused in his own mind.
thank you for your comments, C and listen. i appreciate them. i appreciate all comments. and i'm sure all you people know that by now. i repeat this too often, haha. (;
love you all.
— ducktape
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