| stitches in in my mental health (under the quilt my mother made me)
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KatinaChoo
| in the morning | 1 |
i will try to remind you | 2 |
of the irony of things | 3 |
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when we awake | 4 |
in a strange bed | 5 |
in my mother's house | 6 |
and you make coffee | 7 |
in my father's kitchen | 8 |
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in the morning | 9 |
i will try to forget | 10 |
this moment | 11 |
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when my plan b | 12 |
fails at the whim | 13 |
of a faint heart | 14 |
and you leave | 15 |
as quickly as you came | 16 |
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in the morning | 17 |
i will do my best | 18 |
to understand | 19 |
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when my brother | 20 |
looks at me | 21 |
like he wishes | 22 |
he didn't hate | 23 |
what he sees | 24 |
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6 May 05 |
Rated 8.7 (7.5) by 5 users.
Active (5): 7, 8, 8, 9, 10
Inactive (20): 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 7, 7, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(51 more poems by this author)
(10 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Add A Comment:
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Comments:
All in one breath. Lovely.
-Rixes
— unknown
this is lovely. favorited.
— noodleman
This is...is...I'm looking for words more original than f***ing fantastic.
I really like the repeat of "in the morning" and the structure and the double entendre at line 16.
The ending is very strong and sad.
As for critical comment, I have none. I can barely wait to find out who wrote this.
— housepoppy
btw, I have recently decided that my never rating higher than a 9 is BS.
You have just received my first 10.
— housepoppy
Whoa. That reminds me of The Walk of Shame. Good.
— themolly
pedant
total bs. the number is there to be used, not hoarded! course that goes for all of them. not to mention the converse and the contrapositive.
/pedant
— noodleman
this is beautiful katina
— unknown
i likey. nicely drawn.
— kaleidazcope
Very nicely written. Good work.
— unknown
this reminds me of Hemingway's style; very blunt and simplistic at first glance, but then, whoa! you realize that a perfect, detailed picture came through with just some simple words. very nice.
— Catbox
wow. you have no idea how much that emans to me! hemingway is my favorite. did you know that hemingway spent more than fifty percent of the time he was writing actually reading it thorugh and crossing out unwanted words?
— KatinaChoo
Line 12-IS this meant as a double meaning? Plan B is the morning after pill. I love it if it is. If it isn't than I still love it. Good job, wonderful vox. -BR-
— unknown
Beautifully observed and written - full of things for a reader to think about,
— opal
Very intriguing how you piece it all together.
— Isabelle5
yes, l12 is a double meaning
— KatinaChoo
I still like it, but please consider for line 4:
when we wake
Ah, alliteration.
— Rixes
Simple and effective, the lower down the best list I get, the better the poems are!
— unknown
thanks guys! I triedc to stay away fro alliteration in that line because it feels inconsistent with the rest of the poem. but if anyone else would like to substitue wake there in their minds qand tell me if it reads better by all means, do so.
— KatinaChoo
!
— unknown
yes, i think wake sounds better than awake, too.
— Lia
The mistake in the title makes it harder for me to appreciate this...
— unknown
I should show my brother this, it's excellent, are you published?
— Roz
no, i'm not published
— KatinaChoo
i saw the mistake too, but thought it was there on purpose? it really tripped me out, so i stopped thinking about it.
— Lia
haha...it is sort of trippy isn't it?
— KatinaChoo
The use of the word irony and morning in the first stanza is not coincidence. For that reason alone, I would score high. The lines that follow are the rest of the reasons.
— alicedark
I love this poem.
— Krttika
I love this title.
— Krttika
Good poem. I only read it because of the title. Still it's a good poem. Oh and a brilliant title.
— DeathShards
wow ........awsome...........
reality is so close here
— Maxximmuss
Oops, the first time I read this, it sounded like inscest. Please tell I've got the wrong end of the stick…
— unknown
i love this.
— listen
great work.
— crepaway
awesome
— tragicbubble
Yeah whatever. I don't like it.
— unknown
i love
— bloodytearsx
Love the title, genius.
— unknown
what Mistake in the title?
— 5foot3
gorgeous work really intriguing
— speech_less
hehe. Not much going on in this poem, IMO.
Intentional: "And you leave as quickly as you came."?
Makes me chuckle.
— unknown
fantabulous. i loved that!!
— deathsdoor
this is really awesome. i like the title and repitition. the whole poem feels nostalgic but kind of sad. i like it. <3
— missmurder
A mystery it seems.
— unknown
powerful, particularly the way you finish the poem. crimsonkiss
— crimsonkiss
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