poetry critical

online poetry workshop



humbling verselet
netskyIam

.
 1
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
worms are bait
 2
-yet-
 3
worms are masters
 4
of our remainders
 5
ever, after
 6
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
.
 7

8 May 05

Rated 9 (8.7) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 8, 9

(define the words in this poem)
(181 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

Clever thought. What are we doing?
 — meaka

wriggles in the brain nets :0)

Badge
 — unknown

what are we doing? Unearthing very simple, old style aphoristic verse.. one  which should have been authored two or centuries or go.  Somehow, our ancestors missed making this one. Favorite things are simple and memorable; sometimes despite being quaintly archaic.  The worms still turn our -their- work, as always.  -thanks for your scriggles, m and b good people
 — unknown

i just want to let u know, (cause you comented on a poem of mine, saying i was "homo-phobic" I thought id let you know im bi. I'm no where near homo-phobic. That part in my poem wasnt literal. The thing u should have done was ask me what i meant...Duh..(i like this poem though...simple but sweet...good job)
 — unknown

dear unknown: I am at a loss to your comment about my calling you homophobic... honestly I don't recall where, when, what or if.. so you might email me with a pointer to that poem?  (I'll fix any error I make).   Thanks for the reading of the verselet and compliment.

A reader at another board pointed out my incorporation of a French language pun:  "vers" seems to be French for "worm", and, too, poetry is lines of "vers" in French.  And by my neologistic "vereslet" it makes the pun complete.   Well if that's true it is also humbling -to me- because I know no French.  Pure coincidence that I punned in French. All I can say is 'merci', to Luck and to the kind people who guide me here even though I am far behind on comentary work.  Am owed nothing.  i owe everyone.  merci and thanks
 — netskyIam

hhmm. I am unsure about the title. I just feel that worms or something that makes one think of worms should be in the title.  but yes it is very humbling.  susinct.
 — Riverwriter2

I particular like the confidence that allows you to take the reader's eye to an unusual place on the page and thereby give the aphorism even more power. The hyphens and 'yet' work well too. Reminds me of the metaphysicals and for some reason, John Donne. V.good.
 — opal

very clever, short and insightful. your bid to be prophetic was a good one. a very lovely read.
 — SweetPain

I guess that makes worms MASTERBAIT
 — unknown

Ah. Clever. Very medieval and memento mori of you. And the French pun works out neatly (almost).

Take the dashes out, though.
 — septima_pica

0.354s