| Moth as a Verb
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Isabelle5
| I moth to him; | 1 |
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he, the light and heat, | 2 |
I, the creature craving | 3 |
his eyes, his mouth, his fire – | 4 |
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whirling in his illumination, | 5 |
nearly scorched and fluttering, | 6 |
dropping happy at his feet | 7 |
carefully warmed, | 8 |
crazy with my glow. | 9 |
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12 May 05 |
Rated 7 (8.7) by 3 users.
Active (3): 4, 9
Inactive (12): 7, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(248 more poems by this author)
(7 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
this is prefectly said. BRAVO!
— aforbing
i like your poem
— bettalpha
This seems more like an exercise tha a poem.
It is completely boring.
Ok, so you moth to him, so what. It's a cliche.
— unknown
I love unknowns. I love cliches. I love this and I love being a moth.
— unknown
kudos
— Spunkee
I disagree with the dickless unknown above.
This is an ORIGINAL way to speak of "moth to the flame".
The title says it all: "moth" (normally not a verb) as a verb.
So, you can just take off, you hoser...
— aforbing
i like the idea.
— aeturnus
I just see no point in your poem. aforbing can howl forever in your support but that will change nothing. You are just explaining how you are the moth and he is the flame. Big Deal. Just because you're mothing to him doesn't make it any less tedious.
— unknown
Sorry you feel that way. I had fun writing it and certainly wasn't trying for the Great American Poem.
— Isabelle5
I'm sorry it turned out to be you, Isabel, but that's the beauty of this site, I guess. If I had known who you were I would probably have written nothing and moved on.
— unknown
I love that we can post our real feelings about a poem and not feel "criminal" for honesty. I don't want comments that stroke me, I'm trying to improve and real comments for improvement help a lot!
— Isabelle5
here, here
I didn't know it was IMC either, when I first read this....
So I wasn't intentionally doing any stroking.
— aforbing
gay
— unknown
ah! i love this poem!! i LOVE the idea of it!
great job!!! :)
— woman_power
This poem makes me feel happy. I moth to poetry like this :)
— random_tim
I've heard it.
— unknown
i didn't find this at all tedious. liked l7 especially. i actually thought it was a neat take on the subject of being irresistably drawn to someone, even thought sometimes it can feel like you're just beating yourself uselessly against something. nice.
— unknown
above was moi. :)
— Catbox
My jaw dropped. Incredible.
— aura
This is well written but a trifle too adoring for my wizened,cynical taste
— larrylark
A-M-A-Z-I-N-G
what an interesting angle to come at it from... moth as a verb... like it lots>/i> =)
— misspanda
oops.... lots
— misspanda
This woke up my tired eyes.
Favorite. The way your wrote this is great.
— Hear
well done!
— calysar
followed the thread and discovered this. Gorgeous! I love the noun to verb morphing. This style really works for you; you work this style exquisitely. Wow!
Today is a day of surprises for me. Thank you, lovely Isa
— graceinmtl
omg - "I had fun writing it and certainly wasn't trying for the Great American Poem." ...and in so doing you did write a Great American poem - awesome.
— unknown
I really enjoy seeing examples of the elasticity of language, ours anyway.
Moth as a verb is a good stretch. I don't like how the title gives away what you've done here before we can even read the poem.
You don't need "his" in l5.
I'd prefer a stronger adjective than happy, in l7.
In l8, "carefully" is not in keeping with the moth/flame theme.
Some will say that this is cliche because of this theme. I have always held that the human (and bug) experience is finite. Centuries of poets have come before us, and so, most everything has already been explored. Shall we cease to write? No, of course not, we just try to find original ways to say what has already been said at one time or another. I think you've succeded in doing that.
— housepoppy
I think there should be a semi-colon put at the end of L7, i think it would really enhance the flow. A pause there would complete the flow. this is really nice. I like the imagery, it's soft, a bit diluted, but it's nice. Good on this Isabelle. a 7 i'd say
:-)
Claire
-mywrdsrmyair
— MywrdsRmyAiR
Gosh
gosh
by gosh
golly
by golly
what a poem!
unfukin believably gooooooooooooooood bit of creativity
i do believe this rocks and sticks
thank you. veddy clever of tchou
— unknown
Hello, Isabelle. An absolute deal. ( my shin, your back). I wanted to have a new look at this delightful poem of yours. Moth as verb is so delicate.
Grace
— borntodance
This is clever! Although, I do think that craving "his fire" is too cliche for such a witty and unique poem. "Nearly scorched" is great - perfect word choice; and the last line is gorgeous. Enjoyed!
— WordsAndMe
You know how much I love this poem, Isabelle. I wanted it to breathe freely and beat its luminous wings a little.
grace
— borntodance
Though I find the subject matter a tad tiresome - gender perspective I suppose - I admire the originality with which it's expressed
— Markjdrews
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