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Caste Away
ollylama

Firelighted division bells
 1
Round her slender black ankle
 2
I've learned how to stare from
 3
A pink-cornered eye
 4
 
 
Proud little flower boats
 5
You buy for a penny
 6
To ship peccadilloes
 7
down the old dirty river
 8
 
 
She folds a banana leaf
 9
With long practiced fingers
 10
Then fills them with jasmine
 11
Vermillion and silver
 12
 
 
Pulls a mast of red incense
 13
Through the hull like a smokestack
 14
And stares out at me like
 15
I'm Ahab or Blye.
 16
 
 
Why not make a big one
 17
And we'll join our phalanges
 18
Untouchables clutching
 19
The sins of our fathers
 20
 
 
We'll burn like the dead
 21
Past the banks of the Ganges
 22
And deposit our ashes
 23
In international waters
 24

15 May 05

Rated 9 (7.2) by 1 users.
Active (1): 9, 10
Inactive (12): 1, 1, 1, 6, 7, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10

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Comments:

soild, strong, i like it all but for ahab and blye ... not sure why, but i don't think they fit in this work.
title is brilliant, as are opening and closing stanzas.
wait. no. all of it's brilliant.
 — Bloodfetish

nice.
 — kaleidazcope

whoa
 — housepoppy

i love it
 — lulla183

Wonderful use of language. Really wonderful.
I suppose I might rethink Ahab and Blye as well, perhaps for something a little more generic but full of image.
Ohhh.... I just hink this is wonderful. Very pleased for your success.
 — colevaughn

your best, ollylama. good poem.
 — noodleman

Extremely detailed and captivating. I love this.
 — FeltPen

I think this works well. The allusions and the irony made me smile and the rhythm is laid back and laconic like a blues song; imagery - well done,
 — opal

i cast ye to the depths of hell for this
 — unknown

this is so amazing!!!! really excellent work :)
 — Gray

i wish there were still proper pyres.
 — hank

this is beautiful olly.
 — unknown

I love this.
The title and the poem in perfect balance.
Visual stimulation for me.
 — Krttika

a little too pretty for my liking
 — unknown

i could make it uglier if you like
 — ollylama

Nice, love the title, a fine touch.
 — hobby

i like the ahab blye bit.
it exagerrates the differencesof the two cultures. his culture usually trying to overcome another.
 — unknown

This is strong. Thank you for the privilege of reading it.
 — Fox

awesome poem.
feels like a tree made of tows.
 — unknown

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