| This Poem Should Be Rated Highly
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ollylama
| This poem should be rated highly | 1 |
It has lots of great and subtle imagery | 2 |
It doesn't rhyme which proves I'm a rebel | 3 |
Somewhere there's something about politics | 4 |
And maybe someone who died for them | 5 |
(Usually because of some oppressive ideology) | 6 |
I think I'll throw in some animals because | 7 |
Everybody loves animals | 8 |
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Also, because mentioning sex means that | 9 |
You like to do it and have done it often | 10 |
I'll put in some sexual words and allusions too | 11 |
(Followed by my sorrow over not having it now) | 12 |
And there's also this thing about nostalgia for a place | 13 |
That makes people say "oh yeah, I've been there" | 14 |
And identify with me or "I want to go there" | 15 |
Which means I'm really cool and travel a lot | 16 |
So I'll mention some cool places I've never been to | 17 |
Because nobody else has been there either | 18 |
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I suppose I'll do anything for a high rating | 19 |
Because that would mean that other people can | 20 |
See into my soul and recognize their own | 21 |
And the shock of recognition will precipitate | 22 |
A shower of 9s and 10s and brilliants and awesomes | 23 |
And if I'm really lucky my growing legion of admirers | 24 |
Will dedicate poems to me. | 25 |
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Yet deep down I'll probably know | 26 |
That I'm a full of shit phony and I don't | 27 |
Deserve to be in the top fifteen in the right column | 28 |
Although most artists secretly suspect that | 29 |
They're phonies after all and that all the praise | 30 |
They receive is really some great big cosmic joke | 31 |
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But so what, rate this highly because it will | 32 |
Mean I'm a great big full of shit artist just like them | 33 |
And all of you and everyone else who puts | 34 |
Heart to tongue to pen to paper (or keyboard) | 35 |
And undergoes an elaborate ruse just so that | 36 |
Someone somewhere might think "I love you." | 37 |
Before typing up some incomprehensible verse | 38 |
About their anguish over not being a flamingo. | 39 |
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Epilogue: | 40 |
Though it's been brought to my attention | 41 |
That mercilessly mocking the masses | 42 |
Is a trend long entrenched | 43 |
I will take joy in the fact that some utter innocent | 44 |
Will think I'm a genius because I rebelled | 45 |
Against the rebels and gulp at my brash iconoclasm | 46 |
Because they were going to do just the same thing | 47 |
Only I did it first. As far as he knows. | 48 |
For I am the outsider, the rebel, the incognoscenti | 49 |
Like Stallone or Van Damme, who doesn't know much | 50 |
But he knows what he likes. | 51 |
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18 May 05 |
Rated 7.4 (8.2) by 9 users.
Active (9): 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 10
Inactive (19): 1, 3, 5, 6, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(11 more poems by this author)
(10 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
The irony is that as you apathetically mock the website/typical topics, you forgot to mock the idea of apathetic mocking which is done rather frequently here.
— unknown
it is? awesomely awesome! i'm actually quite happy to hear that. i'd like to see them collected together in a category. can anyone recommend some?
— ollylama
maybe i should add a stanza where i mock myself for being so unoriginal in my mocking!
— ollylama
Apt title.
Not really very poetic I guess, but great fun to read anyway so...I'll rate that.
reeks with cynicism.
Love lines 38 and 39.
— housepoppy
less original than your usual work maybe,
but personally i like irony.
although really, it was the flamingo that swung it for me.
kaleidazcope
— unknown
there have been a few very creative satires of this site and its members-- however, this piece really failed to engage me too much. i think you need to find a more direct way of keeping the reader with you through the whole poem while still getting the same sense of irony.
i guess what it all boils down to for me is that it feels like you tried to hard. sounds too much like a rant on a blog. rewrite?
-yc
— unknown
an ollylama by any other name would smell just as stinky.
— ollylama
no, but i am the reincarnation of the previous ollylama. perhaps you've seen the movie they made about me: seven years in west covina. i am the leader in exile of an oppressed race of dudeists.
— ollylama
o nagasaki
post modern ennui
— unknown
Brilliant...
— unknown
brillain't
— unknown
I think that if you cut it by about 15 stanzas (leave 1), it would be more brilliant. We can usually get the point (if we're going to) quite quickly.
But I love the attempt, I truly do.
— Isabelle5
i luv it.
— sabz3003
it's all about the flamingo.
— aerol
i'm a sucker for irony.
— Spunkee
This high should be rated Poemy.
— unknown
another mobius attempt to be cool
— unknown
nowdays the rebel rhymes!
— unknown
Ha ha ha
Man u r Awesome
go The Revolution!
— lodza
i used to rhyme all my poems but everyone told me it was passe. (tell that to the hip hop community!) as soon as i stopped rhyming them i got a little respect. funny. it's so much harder to write a rhyme.
— ollylama
ollylama, rhyme is wodnerful if done properly. Generally, if the rhyme scheme is detected and crap, like 'day/say', 'night/light', it becomes extremely tired and no one wants to have to struggle through another forced rhyme.
My personal favourite rhymer is Dandy, most of his rhymes are subtle and you can hardly tell that it's there.
Hip hop without rhyme is like cereal without milk. ^_^
I wish your flamingo was back. I like flamingoes, and sometimes wake up thinking that I'm one.
-wendz
— unknown
i agree. both rhymes and flamingoes are wonderful if well done.
— ollylama
i would but i don't find myself very attractive.
— ollylama
olly - you're cool, and if you're in So Cal too we're going to be best friends. I can feel it.
-- ka
— unknown
hey ka,
i'd love to be best friends with you. actually i'm from L.A. but I live in Thailand at the moment. I'll look you up when I go home to visit. Better yet, come visit me in Thailand!
— ollylama
i think you are quite good :)
— Odin
oh my i was laughing out loud. and realized i was laughing at myself too. thanks.
— hank
laughed my ass off, and for that, a 10!
— mamakittyx2
you know I started thinking "what an ass" but by the end I had respect for you you are completely honest not trying to start a movement not trying to offend but merely stating that you have to bring a change in your own writing that you are tired of doing the same thing just so people are willing to accept the words you write .I bow to younot out of reverence but a great respect for you oh yeah and I rated high
— turtlepoet
Line 28 , like it . nice olly nice .
— sir_I_clan
not a poem, but a very entertaining text.
— unknown
haha that's some sweet shit.
— darmrocks
haha this is funny... number 4
— hearmyheart
** number 1 hahahaha
— hearmyheart
this is probably one of the best poems i have seen on this site yeah go you its hilarious and sarcastic brliance.
— JFThompson
This is a tired and wearysome idea of someone lacking inspiration.Tedious
— larrylark
Have to agree
— unknown
i agree too. and i wrote it! in my defense, i was both tired and wearisome when i wrote it. a little more tired than wearisome. however, the tediousness was entirely fabricated.
— ollylama
pink and feathery with
flecks of heavenly white.
the beaks of which i have none, clip
together in sin.
oh how i wish that
i could be a flamingo,
then i could dance in happiness,
for being mentioned in your poem.
i too love lines 38-39!
— unknown
lol this is very evil but great fun to read!
— unknown
the question is:
to laugh or to cry?
Che Guitara
— unknown
And the question is:
Is this a game, I'd like to know?
Does she need me, as she pretends?
Che V.Chase
— unknown
did i miss something?
wad i miss, deputy dawg?
chase vs. man hattan
— unknown
line 39 concerns me, interesting.
— Meep
Made me giggle it's so true. Well done rebelling against the rebels. Nicely written.
— Thea
A 10 for the pure enjoyment of pathetic attempts at irony.
— fallinforyou
I thoroughly enjoyed this one. Apart from everything else that makes it good, it's just downright funny!(",)
— Nostalgia
i like lines 29 to 30
why do you think stallone and van damme don't know much?
great ending, i think.
— photobooth
why are so many comments being removed? are they trolls?
— ollylama
genius.
— unknown
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