poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Painting Dora
bettalpha

He covered one eye
 1
   to see into her mind
 2
held up a thumb
 3
   to measure her worth
 4
cut her into pieces
 5
   to put her back together
 6
so her left eye could see right.
 7

20 May 05

Rated 8 (8.4) by 4 users.
Active (4): 8, 10
Inactive (36): 1, 3, 5, 6, 6, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(148 more poems by this author)

(9 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

heh, thats nifty.
 — LoserXcore

o wow
putting things in perspective
was never so delightful
 — Bloodfetish

thank you for your kind words
 — bettalpha

I found an author who i adore!!! A 10. To add to the other 10s I have given you.
 — Kewanee

thank you for your kind words i'm humbled
 — bettalpha

id like your poem more
because it's cube shaped.

very nice.
when you held up your thumb
i knew exactly what was going on.
flounderific.
 — gnormal

There go those over controlling men again who can't just let anyone be.
 — larrylark

touch€. je suis touch€, gnormal.
 — bettalpha

pablo was one of those blue moons lary
 — bettalpha

CUT HER INTO PIECES!!!!!! you sick fuck....
 — unknown

OMFG
 — unknown

I think the last line cheapens what I wanted this poem to be.. but we can't always get what we want.
 — Cloudless

what did you want this poem to be and how did the last line cheapen it cloudless?
 — bettalpha

squinting is good too. nice poem.
 — hank

thank you for your good words squinty hank
 — bettalpha

Woot! I love this... Although I don't know that I entirely "get" the last line, or rather, I get it, but I don't think I'm getting what I supposed to get... Ack. That sounded odd. Anyways, good stuff!
 — sit_and_wait

thank you for your words sit&wait

no one has come out and said what they think this is about yet, but i'm guessing gnormal knows from his comments.

the secret in the last line comes down to knowing who dora is.
 — bettalpha

I think you're writing about Dora Maar, Picasso's model and mistress, which is one of the reasons I like this poem so much.
 — opal

i love this poem.
 — noodleman

this is useful. this is a profile. this is not a profile. this is a full face. this is not a full face. this is not useful.

http://www.terraingallery.org/Picasso- Dora-Maar-MS.htm
 — noodleman

i love dora maar too opal. she was charming and intelligent and had many qualities i admire. she inspires me.
 — bettalpha

thank you for your words noodleman
 — bettalpha

this is kickass!!!  *sidebar*i used to sit buck for art majors when i was in college.  the first time i did it completely nude, i had to hold a pose for an hour and a half.  when i stood up at the end of the class, my legs had fallen asleep and i fell flat on my bum in front of about 25 hot art kids.
 — themolly

I like the title bc it shows imagination. The poem itself, is nice and short.
 — PatrickStarr

Sorry I didn't revisit before..  In the last line I took right to mean.. correctly? Or does it mean the direction right, which would mean he cut her up and put her back together all wrong, which I like better.
 — Cloudless

this is concise brilliance
 — tj

thank you all for your words
 — bettalpha

this is a linguistic and spatial journey of a special kind, usually the one suffers for the other.  Reads like a wave and your successive lines create a wonderfully crafted image of a puzzle.  Very tight and well done ... the short length makes it even stronger.
Slancho (maria)
 — slancho

I Love this poem.
 — Krttika

thank you for your love words
 — bettalpha

you write well my friend.

-varun-
 — unknown

i thnk you for your words kind friend
 — bettalpha

surely a fav. but after the displaced and the dead poem...
 — varun

i like painters a lot. petals only slightly less.
 — bettalpha

the use of the muse
inspiration, creation and meaning
 — varun

i like to be a muse. it is better than writing.
 — bettalpha

He loved to torture her. Her intelligence disgusted him. He loved to make her cry. He destroyed her. In a photograph, they emerge from the sea. He is short, stocky, fiercely proud. She is shorter, round, beautuful. He loved to make her cry.
 — unknown

her eyes turned green when she cried. artists notice these things. they like to paint on every canvas available.
 — bettalpha

brilliant poem,
 — Odin

very cool
 — crepaway

I get it. In an odd but luring way, I get it. It's very beautiful, keep doing whatever you're doing.
 — HellsAngel

thank you for your words
 — bettalpha

beautifully sculpted.
 — graceinmtl

This deserves the ratings it’s received – very strong writing. The only thing I’ll say is that I find myself wanting the last line to read 'the psychology of love is an art.
 — hobby

This is so good it makes me want to have sex with you.
 — INC8DYE

thank you for your words and offers of sex. i accept them all.
 — bettalpha

poetry. remember what poetry is?
 — unknown

took me a perusal of the comments to "see" this with both eyes, which just made it even better :)
 — oracle

i thought this was a great poem. the bluntness and reality of this poem cut to the reader. i liked how this was clear yet left the reader to think and wander. be proud of this piece.
 — lanezfairy

very funny, droll. works very well on me, turning my visual angle and saying something too. it's very funny, this pun, and because you've built the geography so well, a real cubism; nobody really wrote a cubist poem back when.
 — mikebauer

thank you for your words

betty
 — unknown

i have no sex
to offer, only
words, one: oh,
numbers, one, oh.
 — jumpoline

Clever poetry feels to me like a crossword, once I've solved it I'll never read it again. But, that's just a matter of taste.

Your poem is well done and your intention realized.

Salud.
 — rocket

wow..this reminds of those little riddles i used to hear when i was little when its all like "he looked in the mirror to see what he saw, he took the saw cut the table in half, and two halfs make a whole so he crawled out through the hole" lol....good times
anyways very nicley done...one of the most refreshing poems ive read in a while :)
 — Jennin

lovely.
 — porgie

Wow! This is an amazing poem. It's short but I think that adds to it. Great Job!
 — Alvida24

Elicits a shrug.  While I like the way the diction makes the painter appear like a taxidermist, I don't draw any conclusions from the intended mystery.
I recommend restructing L3 as "held up a thumb".  It matches "worth" in L4 better, instead of the plosive "up".
6.
 — aurelius

I hope this stays in third , its a good place .
 — unknown

i second that...
 — unknown

?
 — unknown

good poem
 — vida

i really liked it but reading the last line i kind of get lost..
but i like it!
 — photobooth

and she never stopped crying
.
.
.

as long as he was her destroyer

I'm jealous of this author.
 — banditfemme

oy vey. i like
 — ElegantWaste

fully awake now, not good, but then it is an old work so you have improved at least
 — unknown

i always make the mistake of reading others' comments before i write one. i need to stop doing that. when i read it, i felt it. i knew picasso in a second. love the lastline, double/opposite meaning thing. then when no one mentioned him, i thought shit! i was wrong. then i realized i was there the whole time and the other comments led me astray. long story short, i love it.
 — humblebee

Well I can certainly see why this got the ratings that it did. Great tribute.
 — nakedowl

this is fucking brilliant.  i've been cut into pieces by one too many a man trying to 'fix' me and this sums it up beautifully. -K
 — unknown

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