| Aural Asphyxiation
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themolly
| I've been brown so long, | 1 |
I can't feel the green. | 2 |
My air, | 3 |
itself | 4 |
has gagged me. | 5 |
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27 May 05 |
Rated 7.6 (6.8) by 10 users.
Active (10): 5, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (9): 1, 1, 1, 3, 5, 6, 6, 6, 7, 8, 9, 9, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(51 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
i don't know why this came out of me? i was strangely compelled to post it.
Let 'er rip......
— themolly
It seems metaphorical, but for what, I don't know.
And in math class two days ago, I wrote the line "asphyxiating aura". How you got it I'll never know, but I'm using it because I had it before I read this.
— FangzOfFire
I dont reall get it...is there a deeper meaning that I am missing?
— SaleenDriva
Fangz..
That's trippy. It must have been that ESPN I watched yesterday. Just out of curiousity, why were you writing about a choking life force in Math class?
— themolly
Saleen...
I think the meaning is visible on the surface.
Sometimes we find ourselves surrounded by a persistent stifling energy, seemingly unescapable in its total envelopment. Unfortunately, this aura of negativity is part of us. We are solely responsible for is perpetuance, and that is maddening.
For me, the feeling is akin to being in a gas chamber (not that I've been in a gas chamber...in this life anyway.) It feels like choking on your own air...
You see?
— themolly
nice. it's a very earthy way to put it--all that time you've been sleeping. you've forgotten how to awake. nice nice poem. good jorb. (;
— ducktape
what......no more ratings?
— themolly
When you spell it out like you just did, I get it...I like really superficial poems, where you dont need to read into them all that much to be touched...sorry. But your explaination mos def helps, and your rating just went up.
— SaleenDriva
Thanks so much ( ;
— themolly
I realize this is super concise, but I'm really trying to do that more nowadays. I tend to be longwinded in the first drafts but extremely liberal with the red pen. I am attempting to hurdle that pattern by writing very deliberately.
So if anyone can help me do that...ease me into that way of thinking...
I'd really appreciate any comments from that perspective.
— themolly
anyone.....?
— themolly
hello.....?
— themolly
YOUR BEST POEM, IN MY OPINION.
woops. had caps on. :)
— noodleman
Are you being sarcastic noodle?
— themolly
i like it alot molly. my attention span these days have made me liking more poems that are..."short, sweet and to the point" well,t he style i guess, or maybe it's just my mood now. i like it, and your explanation makes it very meaningful to me. Thanks.
— infinity
not at all. this is my favorite.
noodles.
— unknown
Thanks guys!
— themolly
it's cute and short, but I also feel like I am missing the meaning.
— HeidiHo
I also like your poems when they are to the point and short. I find that people who beat around the bush are full of bullshit. You are more honest in your "to the point poems". Write exactly what feel at that momentm, dont dwell on whether it's good or not , just write.
— HeidiHo
try as you may, i will triumph yet
— unknown
MEAN PEOPLE SUCK
— BoundFeet
what did you do to deserve this?
— tiedtoes
I'm sure there are worse things that could have 'come out of you' ahaha. You should read MY asphyxiation poem.
— ramher
Ok, I see it now. I'm sorry...I'm dense!
— SaleenDriva
gracias
— unknown
I like this ..nice!
— LaLa16
Thanks so much.
— unknown
Is this a poem about your teeth, Molly?
— unknown
very funny
— themolly
My teeth are one of the few things that I don't despise about myself. Lips and teeth...yep. That's it.
— themolly
I know exactly what you mean in this. Maybe it's because I know what people mean by Aura. But nah, it's a lot more than that. Succinct and True.
— CrudeEcstasy
Thanks.
— themolly
This reminds me of a time in which I most enjoyed my misery. Kudos.
— Aziel
thanks
— themolly
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