| Who Inhibits this Soul of Mine?
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SweetPain
| When all the passion of hate is spent | 1 |
what else do I have? | 2 |
But to appreciate the world. | 3 |
But no! It is never perfect, | 4 |
there is always some glitch to fix | 5 |
someone to help right their wrong. | 6 |
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And soon after when everything is said, and done | 7 |
I can look within. | 8 |
But I have spent so much time | 9 |
on other's perfection, | 10 |
I do not know who or what I am. | 11 |
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30 May 05 |
Rated 9 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1): 9
Inactive (0):
(define the words in this poem)
(108 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
no comments at all?
— SweetPain
nada?
— SweetPain
please comment :D
— SweetPain
It's a very good poem?
— unknown
It's very elementary in its presentation. I don't understand why you have everything in uncaps, despite the capitalized 'I' in L2. The line breaks also seem very novice and forced, such as L4-5, L8-9, L12-13. I also feel there should a question mark somewhere around L2, therefroe making L3 a new sentence.
At this point, it needs a lot of work. What you have here is a rough draft. This is not the finished piece.
— unknown
thank you unknown, the help was wonderful. I would like to know what you think about the actual content of the poem please.
— SweetPain
this blows ROYAL cock.
— unknown
thanks, bitter people are funny!
— SweetPain
no has anything to say about this?
— SweetPain
What a psyco you are! I like the controller portrayed in this poem.
— unknown
umm thanks and i am not psyco!
— SweetPain
could someone rate this please.
— SweetPain
I really like the idea of this one and it is so so true.I struggled with the same thing for years and it led to all sorts of problems with trying to write.I sometimes got to the state where i didn't know who i was or what i felt. Above all things nurture yourself,everything else will grow from that.
— larrylark
thankyou very much larrylark!
— SweetPain
Still needs work.
— unknown
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