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Funeral For A Large Man
larrylark

Problems with the lid,
 1
embarrassing really,
 2
to hear nervous fiddling,
 3
shuffling feet,
 4
ancient aunties stuck to seats,
 5
room boiling
 6
in furnace central heating.
 7
 
 
Slid and swerved  
 8
on rollers to the hearse
 9
"Hasn't been a worse one
 10
in my lifetime's work."
 11
In church, mourners burst
 12
into nervous unrehearsed song.
 13
 
 
All thanked the Lord for a freezing day
 14
as combustible thoughts strayed
 15
into minds that preyed,
 16
while wishing themselves away.
 17
Later I remembered him trembling
 18
in sunshine as he drank
 19
from a glass of wine,
 20
thimble in his giant hand.
 21

12 Jun 05

Rated 8.8 (8.2) by 6 users.
Active (6): 4, 7, 8, 9
Inactive (22): 1, 3, 6, 6, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

this is good.  very nice.
 — unknown

Thanks for the comment unknown,its appreciated.
 — larrylark

Liked the thimble Larry, guess that's why some folk drink from the bottle.

cheers

P. :0)
 — badger11

Dear Badger

If only i could stick to a thimble full i wouldn't be the wreck i am this morning looking out of bloodshot eyes on a grey world of my own making.

Larry brandy boy Lark
 — larrylark

no sir, you are hooray.
 — onklcrispy

Dear Onklecrispy

Is it good to be hooray or should i be worried?

Larry hip hip Lark
 — unknown

I was drawn to the title of this one...I kinda guessed it'd be funny, but it turned out to be quite moving actually.

The last 2 lines really made the poem much stronger as a poignant piece.
 — mr_e

Dear mr_e

He was my best friend(Sob) and in the end we had to winch him into the pub ,after they'd removed the front wall and all the regulars had vacated to the beer garden

Larry demon drink Lark
 — larrylark

heh heh...yeah, that must have been a sad day!
 — mr_e

i hear they just finished cremating marlon brando



deepthroat
 — unknown

Dear Deepthroat

Well i guess we have the consolation of knowing that he must have kept a hell of a lot of people warm

Larry Fat in the fire Lark
 — unknown

I spent part of my youth trying to look like Marlon,
and at middle age, trying not too.
Very excellent work Larry fine writer Lark
 — unknown

lovely larry.

noodleman
 — unknown

by the way larry, you, this pome and sad happenstance broke my writers block so thank you.
 — noodleman

lovely, as always. : )
 — midare

Man this is fuckin' brilliant who the hell wrote this?let me crush the bones in his writing hand ooooops it were me sorry its a fat lump of shit really
 — larrylark

Dear Noodle man

I'm glad that reading my poem was of help to you
 — larrylark

Preyed, or prayed?
 — meaka

Gee thanks themolly, a compliment indeed coming from you.
 — larrylark

I don't get why this is so good...
 — Delicatelie

It's a beautifully observed piece of writing - poignant and sad, but somehow capturing a sense of the ridiculous.
 — opal

Someone is seriously somehow able to comment in my name!  How?  What?!?! &nb sp;How!!!!!!  OH MY GOSH!  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

-themolly
 — unknown

Why would I say THAT!?!?!  I gave this a 9!!!!!

-themolly
 — unknown

Does one hear nervous fiddling?

Do rooms boil in furnace heating?

And I quite sure, the room did not slid or swerve on any roller.

All in all a poorly constructed piece of prose, with little technical merit.

Subject matter good, and in slightly more capable hands could have been quite entertaining.

Arminius Prodicus
 — unknown

Does one hear the voice of low self esteem. Does one feel shit, alienated etc. etc. Does one hear the bored emptiness of its own mind.Does one want to make oneself feel slightly better,but only for a moment by writing like a poetry bitch.
 — larrylark

Oh and by they way,you can feel shit,but i wouldn't recommend it
 — larrylark

Dear TherMolly

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? Lie down in a dark room and keep taking the tablets
 — larrylark

Poor Larry lark.

Who it would appear likes to leave anonymous comments?

And whose ego is so brittle, that he flutters to the ground in search of praise hoping to find the grit for his crop.

Do snakes in the grass really fly?
 — unknown

I enjoyed the authenticity of this poem .It rings true .This is exactly what peopl would be thinking.The common touched you used made it really easy to relate to .
 — lodza

Poor unknown ,

as if we didn't know who it is, whoops i forgot the delusional royal address .Start again . As if "one" doesn't know who it is your royal majesty.One's second stanza encamsulates the tacky prose with which your most highest highness litters his poetry. If one looks carefully in ones grass,one will find that even when poor Larry is posting "anonymously" because basically he can't be arsed signing in,he always adds his name. My my ,someone has really got among the snakes in your head. but if your looking in my direction your barking madly up the wrong bananabush.
Not much of a slueth are you to think that i have time to waste slagging off persons
even if they are the royal self annointed poetry bitch.

Larry signed in double Lark
 — larrylark

hey larry you put the fun back in funeral.
 — noodleman

I like the last like the best...REALLY like it.  Very cool larry
 — SaleenDriva

Dear Noodleman

Who'd be an undertaker eh?Me, i'm having myself enbalmed and placed by the side of route 66 wiith my hand pointing and a sign that reads "this way to LA, have a nice day.
 — larrylark

Hi Larry,

I notice your outburst directed at some unknown person.

Regarding your poem, either your central character or more probably your self, shows considerable ignorance in regards to wine drinking, obviously you have no social class, any third rate bar man could advise you on the correct size and shape of glass for most types of wine.
Therefore, your analogy regarding the thimble falls flat, undoubtedly burdened by the sheer weight of the writer’s ignorance.

It must be difficult burdened with such incredible intelligence such as yours.

Arminius Prodicus

  
 — unknown

Just as it must be a burden for one to to be weighed with incredible stupidity such as yours. I say this as IQ to congratulate your incredible intelligence .So why do you act so stupid and write even worst(Without a question mark) because i almost certainly know the tedious answer.As for wine,i just drink it ,by the thimble full of course.
 — larrylark

You can pretend all you like, and shout your abuse from the rooftops nothing changes.
Your are a fraud of the lowest order, your reactions prove all.

Arminius Prodicus
 — unknown

last line was brilliant, completely outshone the rest of the poem. outshone? is that a word? oh well, you get what i mean
 — charango

Dear arminius,

How gratifying to know that someone can see straight through you - would you like to be in my Fraud Squad? It takes one to know one.
 — larrylark

If we should look at facts as such
I think the Lark protests too much.
Got his flight feathers in a spin
and landed in lost Larry’s bin.

‘A bit bedraggled but squawking loudly as usual’

Arminius Prodicus
 — unknown

interesting....
 — desired_mind

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz squawk squawk zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 — larrylark

very nice. the lines bring the melancholic scene to life.
 — raman

The more I read the last two lines the more I dislike them.

In fact, I definitely do not like them at all now.

I think they should be amended to give a more coherent structure and meaning, this is my proposed change to those two lines

‘Later I remembered him in sunshine, trembling as he drank a glass of wine, thimbleful like, in a giant hand.’

Thimbleful being the noun relating to a quantity, and the noun thimble relating to the protection of a digit, an appendage normally the thumb.

Arminius Prodicus
 — unknown

Dear Prodikus

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zz
 — larrylark

Watch you do not fall of your perch in your sleep,
It’s a long way down, without flight feathers.
 — unknown

Dear Unknown

zzzzzzzzz
            ;   z
            ;     z
            ;       z
            ;    splat
 — larrylark

I guess larry didnt listen!
 — SaleenDriva

Squawk! Squawk,!

Crunch! crunch!.

Munch! Munch!

You nice!

little

Pussy Cat.

Arminius Prodicus.
 — unknown

A real Auden feel to this yet with a more exclusive and less for the everyman vibe.

Wonderful
 — Caducus

Dear Prodikus

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 — larrylark

And, pussycat has a kip too. ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz
 — unknown

Dear Cadacus

great compliment which of course i can't accept .Auden is a star in the poetic firmament and i am in the gutter looking up at him.
 — larrylark

to be honest im enjoying arminius's and larrys flirty little converstion in this forum. Do they do private show? :)
 — raman

He's larry's own personal 'Barmy Army'.
 — unknown

I've read this before.  Did I not comment?  How odd.
 — Isabelle5

this is brilliant. reminds of the time a friend with cerebral palsy was buried: one arm was raised high in the coffin.

a deft touch with this work
 — Bloodfetish

Dear Raman

            ;          &nbs p;          &nb sp;          &n bsp;          & nbsp;   zzzz
     z          &nbs p;          &nb sp;          &n bsp;          & nbsp;       zzzzzz
        z  &nbs p;          &nb sp;          &n bsp;          & nbsp;           z        z
            ; z     zz   zzz          &n bsp;          & nbsp;    z       ;          &nbs p;          &nb sp;          &n bsp;          & nbsp;                       ;          &nbs p;    z      &n bsp;          & nbsp;                       ;          &nbs p;          &nb sp;          &n bsp;   z
            ;          &nbs p;   z          &nbs p;          &nb sp;  z
            ;          &nbs p;zz        z zzzzzzzzzzz

Thank you
 — larrylark

doesn't allow me to think enough
 — onestepshort

Dear Raman

I think someone has been interupting my sleep.
 — larrylark

Dear bloodfetish

It also reminds me of a friend of mine who died on "the job " as we say in England. .He was really trying to impress this particular lady and they finished up having to bury him 30 feet underground.

Larry cocksure Lark
 — larrylark

eexxttrreemmeellyy gggoooaaaddd (good)......reminds me of something my head would throw together
 — unknown

this here is a fine pome
 — noodleman

Good, very good. I like the idea a lot, and the way it translated into writing. I feel like the title would be more effective as Funeral of a Large Man, rather than "for", but even if you don't take that advice, "for" and "a" shouldn't be capitalized. Should line 11 be "a thimble" rather than just "thimble"? Line 7 is a good concept, and paints a good picture.
 — unknown

i love.
 — bloodytearsx

Dear Bloodytears

This poem was my tribute to one of my best friends who finished up housebound with severe weight problems and the poem is an accurate representation of his funeral

Larry.
 — larrylark

this is great.
 — jittery

very good piece,
 — Odin

Dear Jittery

I bow before your judgement.

Larry
 — larrylark

All the better for being true. Nice work.
 — unknown

One of your best poems for me
 — Mercedes

Dear Mercedes

Thanks for your kind words.

Larry xx
 — unknown

preyed or prayed?
 — unknown

Strong, excellent poem. I can almost feel the itch of damp woolen sweaters. Hear those nervous rustlings and disturbing coughs-- Did you intentionally type "prey" ( not pray)?  Won-der-ful
 — graceinmtl

Dear Grace

My use of the word prey was deliberate to suggest relatives who during the service might be thinking how they might benefit materially from the large mans demise.It also of course suggests that they may also be mumbling a prayer while ruminating thus i also attempt to point up the hypocrisy that seems to permeate much of what passes for social life.Thanks for your interesting observations

Larry
 — larrylark

Very good. Great humour and vivid imagery of the man at the end.
 — joe9068

Dear Joe9068

Glad you liked it.

Larry
 — larrylark

yes. very nice piece

[          &nbs p;   ]
 — unknown

Dear Unknown

Thanks for reading

Larry
 — larrylark

hey Larry i was doing a history assignment on William the Conquerer and they reckon he ended up so grossly corpulent, yeh well anyway they couldn't get the lid on his coffin secured properly, there are some other details i can leave to the imagination
 — unknown

Very Interesting read. Cheers
 — CrunchyWeta

The poem addresses many issues directly and with humour and for that Mr Lark is to be admired.
 — unknown

Dear Unknown

Apparantly Henry the Eighth exploded under the lid.


Larry internal spices Lark
 — larrylark

i am a fan of word play, and yet pray to prey ... in this case i mighta gone for the obvious a. but who am i to say.

interesting topic for a piece of poetry. and personal, clearly.

i liked this piece. read it a few times. liked it more each time.


thanks
 — ilenelush

I like the internal rhyming...  this one is fun to read aloud.  And the last sentence is a great image.
 — brainhaven

nice poem, Larry. very nice work.

it has your charm. your signature. i knew it was you before i knew it was you.

it has your DNA.
 — listen

.
 — unknown

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