| mascara like records spun
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tragicbubble
| mascara like records spun | 1 |
black and skipping and dripping | 2 |
down my cheeks to | 3 |
musical beats that sweep across my eyes | 4 |
in a dizzying spin | 5 |
to draw your toxic lullaby | 6 |
of words spoken back in | 7 |
time till the words whispered sound | 8 |
different and no longer rhyme | 9 |
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yet I rewind your words over | 10 |
and over and spin them through my fingertips | 11 |
already ready for tricky moments to twist | 12 |
their way between my lips | 13 |
around my hips to dip | 14 |
under my toes | 15 |
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like rivers | 16 |
like rain | 17 |
like snow | 18 |
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spilling down skin | 19 |
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like confusion | 20 |
like naiveté | 21 |
like you | 22 |
for the sake of me | 23 |
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like love | 24 |
weaving itself through me. | 25 |
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13 Jun 05 |
Rated 9 (7.7) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 5, 9, 9
(define the words in this poem)
(46 more poems by this author)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
i love this. especially l1-4. fantastic. maybe just end it at 'like you/ for the sake of me'
— totheteeth
Actually, I found it a bit strange at first in wording and imagery. Then I read it again and realized how much it worked for me and I liked it. Great work!
— wamblicante
This sings, tragic. Terrific.
— sam
Great lyrical quality sweeps this from start to finish
Larry
— unknown
Depressing... I love it!!!!
— mish_mash
i dont get how to read it???
— unknown
I agree with totheteeth, this is wonderful but might benefit from dropping the last two lines. Other than that, it's awesome. (9)
— fallinforyou
the line breaking in the second half denies the tempo, it could have a rushing flow by packing the lines. plus you have to ask about the use of like, its a poem, therefor its implied everything is a metaphor. keep one like and then list out the other things you are relating off that one 'like'.
— bloodtom
infused with drama
only one suggestion- line2 reads better without "and dripping"
— unknown
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