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poet fishers
netskyIam

Worms may be bait
 1
yet worms become masters
 2
of our remainders   ever after.
 3
 
 
French vers =
 4
  English's worms
 5
 
 
Verse as our bait?
 6
This ver reminds
 7
future humus   words to mind.
 8

14 Jun 05

Rated 10 (9.7) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (2): 9, 10

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Comments:

HOLY CHITT THIS IS FAN TASTIC! YES THAT IS MORE THAN ONE WORD!

I absolutely adore the huge space in between. I love the rhyme scheme. This is genius. This flows so beautifully. So simple. I'm pissing myself over this. This is a ten. TEN!! TEN!! THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE READ IN MONTHS!! IN FACT I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING BETTER!!
 — OKcomputer

OH LORD ISH NETSKY!!
 — OKcomputer

  *thanks* I am blind
without eyes
 — netskyIam

ver is French for "worm".  Is also French (vers) for lines of poetic quality
 — netskyIam

the white space looks better on here nets
 — badger11

soil too wet grows fine wrigglers.  thank you, badger
 — netskyIam

:0)

badge
 — unknown

The first stanza is/was a stand-alone.  I made it a month or so ago.
The aim was to make an aphoristic verse of very simple imagery
which could have/should have been penned centuries ago.. but was -not-

I am not well-read.  I knew only the casual references to worms eating our mortal remains ("the worms crawl in the worms crawl out..")

Well, the original title was as you see it above: "humbling verselet".  
A reader at another forum was taken aback:  "a pun on the French word for poetry! [i]Vers[/i]!"

Ah, so the French are whimsical.  By  chance my title word, "verselet" (a non-word), rang the connection in her, who speaks French.  I don't know French.

But now I did ! know that the French call lines of poetry "vers"  A worm is    a "ver"

SO!  It certainly appealed to make a companion stanza directed not at the general public, but to us poets.

We are future humus.   Posthumously, our remainders will be our vers, which may or may not worm into the minds of posterity, depending, of course, on how -well we mind them while we can-.
 — netskyIam

Exeptionally clever poem.So much buried deep within its groundbreaking structure
 — larrylark

thank you- it's nice to get a 'go' from an advance poet such as you.  very  much obliged.  my quality is highly variable.  I do better with these small things, I think.
 — netskyIam

Larry or anyone: Here is a proposed minor revision to make the message more instantly clear to poet-readers. You poets are the true target of the verse.  Let me know which is preferable?

Worms are bait
yet worms are masters
of our remainders
ever, after

Vers
as poetic  bait?
This ver reminds
future humus
words to mind
 — netskyIam

revised 3/2/06
 — netskyIam

Dumb poem written by a dumbass sonofabitch.
 — unknown

cheap words, awkward images twisting their ways into something unattractive AND not deep.
 — unknown

this is very jerry and i'm a better man for reading this. signed, ronald reagan
 — joey

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