Worms may be bait
yet worms become masters
of our remainders ever after.
French vers =
Verse as our bait?
This ver reminds
future humus words to mind.
14 Jun 05
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HOLY CHITT THIS IS FAN TASTIC! YES THAT IS MORE THAN ONE WORD!
I absolutely adore the huge space in between. I love the rhyme scheme. This is genius. This flows so beautifully. So simple. I'm pissing myself over this. This is a ten. TEN!! TEN!! THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE READ IN MONTHS!! IN FACT I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING BETTER!!
OH LORD ISH NETSKY!!
*thanks* I am blind
ver is French for "worm". Is also French (vers) for lines of poetic quality
the white space looks better on here nets
soil too wet grows fine wrigglers. thank you, badger
The first stanza is/was a stand-alone. I made it a month or so ago.
The aim was to make an aphoristic verse of very simple imagery
which could have/should have been penned centuries ago.. but was -not-
I am not well-read. I knew only the casual references to worms eating our mortal remains ("the worms crawl in the worms crawl out..")
Well, the original title was as you see it above: "humbling verselet".
A reader at another forum was taken aback: "a pun on the French word for poetry! [i]Vers[/i]!"
Ah, so the French are whimsical. By chance my title word, "verselet" (a non-word), rang the connection in her, who speaks French. I don't know French.
But now I did ! know that the French call lines of poetry "vers" A worm is a "ver"
SO! It certainly appealed to make a companion stanza directed not at the general public, but to us poets.
We are future humus. Posthumously, our remainders will be our vers, which may or may not worm into the minds of posterity, depending, of course, on how -well we mind them while we can-.
Exeptionally clever poem.So much buried deep within its groundbreaking structure
thank you- it's nice to get a 'go' from an advance poet such as you. very much obliged. my quality is highly variable. I do better with these small things, I think.
Larry or anyone: Here is a proposed minor revision to make the message more instantly clear to poet-readers. You poets are the true target of the verse. Let me know which is preferable?
Worms are bait
yet worms are masters
of our remainders
as poetic bait?
This ver reminds
words to mind
Dumb poem written by a dumbass sonofabitch.
cheap words, awkward images twisting their ways into something unattractive AND not deep.
this is very jerry and i'm a better man for reading this. signed, ronald reagan