| The Obscurity of a Perfectionist's Mirror
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SweetPain
| The mirror of true self reflection, | 1 |
shattered on the floor. | 2 |
I see every image. | 3 |
Every one | 4 |
rigid, | 5 |
uneven, | 6 |
imperfect pieces of myself. | 7 |
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The submissive one. | 8 |
The lying one. | 9 |
The vengeful one. | 10 |
The greedy one. | 11 |
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Now I stand to fix, polish and glue | 12 |
this obscure image together again. | 13 |
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23 Jun 05 |
Rated 7.5 (8.5) by 2 users.
Active (2): 6, 9
Inactive (4): 8, 8, 9, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(108 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
Line 9 - lying one.
I think that if you added some haste to the end of this, and some paste of ego/self delusion, it would be stronger. The way you've written it, sounds like you're not too much in a rush to put your illusions back together.
I would guess it would be urgent to get the pieces fixed. Just my opinion.
— Isabelle5
i disagree with Isabelle , sometimes there are pieces of yourself that you arent too proud of. Maybe putting the illusion back together slowly is a way of trying to fix whats wrong or become a better person. I dont know, just my opinion. I like it though
— Evernight
i really liked this poem alot. i myself prefer to do things slowly. think things out and then put it together. when things are done to quickly, stuff can be missed. well done!
— crabbyoldbag
I like it, pretty fuckin awesome!
— jittery
most perfect poem def a favorite gorgeous makes a beautful imagery just a suggestion to prolong it not that it needs it but explain eacxh section of you more closely.. good stuff 10
— speech_less
I love this. I agree with Isabelle though, I would think that it should seem more urgent to fix the mirror so that you could no longer see the truth. It's your poem though, but thats just the impression i get.
— ForeverAlone
Thankyou oh so very much Isabelle5, Evernight, crabbyoldbag, jittery, speech_less, and ForeverAlone.
I would want to fix my "mirror" slowly because, I have realised the truth and want to fix it and become a better person. So a slow rebuilding of my self image implies a self renewal which is why my ending lacks in urgency. Does that explain it?
— SweetPain
i love this!
— unknown
This is an interesting stab at self recognition and the demons that lurk in the soul .I particularly like the last stanza which for me acknowledges both the hope of renewal and the constantly recurring torment of our driven selves
— larrylark
hey you got it right on larrylark! thanks a bunch for the comment!
— SweetPain
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