is a matter of curves
across the surface
of a lake. Skip
rather than flip;
related to velocity
and calmness of water.
Flick a shiny pebble
out over waves
that hand it on,
leaping from foaming tips,
as meteors entering
at unexpected angles,
thrown through a maze
of cloud,cascade freely,
vanish without trace.
3 Jul 05
Rated 8 (8.7) by 1 users.
Inactive (2): 8, 9, 9
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this is very pretty. i like it. only it seemed to get off track when you started comparing it to meteors. try adding more to it and close the poem with skipping rocks. if you were doing that, then try explaining it more clearly. this is such a pretty poem, i like it very much. good jorb and keep on writing! (;
i agree 100% with ducktape.
this is really beautiful.
haha. should've known, should've known.
very pretty, i really like
thanks for your good advice i will edit bearing them in mind
Beautiful or not its only a mere draft on the sea shore
L18 space between "cloud," and "cascade".
Thanks rxs your insightful comments are much appreciated
Really nice...you seem to almost capture the moments as the stone hits, then skips off into the distance. Just what I have come to expect from you, larry...greatness.
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