remember our nights
imprinted on your face
folds of the sheets
a map upon your cheek
carried the lines from our bed
well into the day
4 Jul 05
Rated 8 (8.5) by 1 users.
Active (1): 8
Inactive (3): 7, 9, 9
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thats cute... just a simple poem but it really shows how much you notice and love about this person
hmm, cute. might have to delete this one.
this is very sweet. a great poem and a great show of love an affection.
cute and sweet. even more appalling.
uh oh, it's cute
I like it.
The poem is outwardly about how skin loses it's elasticity with age. Memory appears to be an occuring theme as does skin. The dark in the light, unresolved.
..or a light in the dark perhaps, lol, sorry. I like it, it's cute.
It's not cute, honest. Don't delete.
It has lots of things going on that I like a lot. The title for a start. Could be about skin, but could also be about sexual gymnastics or is that just me?
Lines 1-2 I love these. A face does look so different after love.
Only line that jars for me is line 6. I don't think it's necessary. Or maybe you could just make it 'a memory' or remove it altogether? Just a suggestion. I think the languid tone gives an impression of pleasure so you don't need to stress it was good!
I love this though. The skin a metaphor for acts of love and the feelings that linger. Mmmmmm
well done smugzy. thanks.
Nicely done sensual poem
very nice. we can all understand this one. very concise and deliberate. likey