| Everyday Romance
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konsherto
| Every bead of sweat | 1 |
that drops to your pillow, | 2 |
every damp strand of hair | 3 |
stuck to your forehead | 4 |
injects a surge | 5 |
of temperature | 6 |
in me. | 7 |
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I can see | 8 |
all the chemicals | 9 |
dancing in your head | 10 |
through the frozen eyes | 11 |
that pierce and betray | 12 |
every tendril of this moment, | 13 |
and every heat wave | 14 |
surging through our skins. | 15 |
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How you shine | 16 |
without pretenses; | 17 |
you blind me momentarily. | 18 |
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You just wait. | 19 |
One day, I’ll fall in love with you. | 20 |
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9 Jul 05 |
Rated 7 (7) by 2 users.
Active (2):
Inactive (0): 7, 7
(define the words in this poem)
(1 more poem by this author)
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Comments:
i love taht last line
— tragicbubble
Stanza one could use more punctuation. It seems run on. But lovely imagry nonetheless. Frozen eyes? that's nonsense. You should perhaps try "through the fixated eyes or something of that sort. That also needs help in grammar. It's too bunched up and it ruins the flow of the poem. L18 would maybe sound better if you wrote Blinding me momentarily. I do like the last line. Leaves it open ended. So the reader can assume what the person's reaction would be. Overall nice poem.
— Gabriella
For some strange reason, this is fantastic.
— FangzOfFire
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