poetry critical

online poetry workshop



poe bread verse (short, simple)
netskyIam

Bread must be yeasted
 1
leavened and baked
 2
Good bread is tasty
 3
(-that- can never be faked)
 4
 
 
If the bread's faulty
 5
it rises then falls.
 6
A poetry parable
 7
is -this- flat bread, is all
 8

26 Jul 05

Rated 7 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (3): 7, 7, 9, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(181 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

nice, cute, appealing (i like baking)
 — Lia

I like this. Netsky would fall in love with it.
 — FangzOfFire

ummm smells fresh...
 — feetfirst

very true....  decent poem.
 — unknown

nice one!
 — Wix

ooooh noooo (I lol)  -this is supposed to be an example of -flat, untasty bread!- and so, it parables -why- it falls flat.   oooooo noooo you kids must not pump air back into an arid soufle.   pooooof.   am gone flat again!   (grins and huggles) netRitz
 — netskyIam

there! I done fixed it so you know it's supposed to salt our lips ("a" instead of "like a", and dashes now bracket "this".    no mistaking the one funny thing: to make a verse well  about itself  being "bad" is no mean trick.    

I am strange.  Someone hug me again.   -grins-
 — netskyIam

clever! and at ease. i wrote a poem called "bread" once, but it was about eating it! I enjoyed the rise and yum of this poem!
 — misterpoet

0.519s