| for fate and destiny with affection
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hank
| the light | 1 |
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will always | 2 |
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vanquish the fire | 3 |
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1 Aug 05 |
Rated 9 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 7, 9
(define the words in this poem)
(465 more poems by this author)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
true dat.
— themolly
this would read better if you made "vanquish" one line and "the fire" the fourth, it would create some movement in a relatively short poem. and your message is clearly and simply projected through these words. good job :D!
— SweetPain
but fire is light. are you saying that a similar quixotic relationship exists between fate and destiny? I never thought of that. You're a genius. Now fire up a bong with me and we'll see the light together.
— ollylama
I think without the 'the' @L1 &3 this would be tighter and stronger:
light
will always
vanquish fire
Or at most, use 'the' only once.
Overall, very nice and refreshing. The spacing, oddly, gives it an airy sort of feel to it--makes me think of wind molding a flame into it's tear drop shape. i'm an odd person, sometimes.
rxs
— unknown
thanks rixes
— hank
fuct olly, i'm howling. can't thank you enough.
— hank
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