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for fate and destiny with affection
hank

the light
 1
 
 
will always
 2
 
 
vanquish the fire
 3

1 Aug 05

Rated 9 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 7, 9

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Comments:

true dat.
 — themolly

this would read better if you made "vanquish" one line and "the fire" the fourth, it would create some movement in a relatively short poem. and your message is clearly and simply projected through these words. good job :D!
 — SweetPain

but fire is light. are you saying that a similar quixotic relationship exists between fate and destiny? I never thought of that. You're a genius. Now fire up a bong with me and we'll see the light together.
 — ollylama

I think without the 'the' @L1 &3 this would be tighter and stronger:

light

will always

vanquish fire


Or at most, use 'the' only once.

Overall, very nice and refreshing. The spacing, oddly, gives it an airy sort of feel to it--makes me think of wind molding a flame into it's tear drop shape. i'm an odd person, sometimes.

rxs
 — unknown

thanks rixes
 — hank

fuct olly, i'm howling. can't thank you enough.
 — hank

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