poetry critical

online poetry workshop

for fate and destiny with affection

the light
will always
vanquish the fire

1 Aug 05

Rated 9 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 7, 9

(define the words in this poem)
(465 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


true dat.
 — themolly

this would read better if you made "vanquish" one line and "the fire" the fourth, it would create some movement in a relatively short poem. and your message is clearly and simply projected through these words. good job :D!
 — SweetPain

but fire is light. are you saying that a similar quixotic relationship exists between fate and destiny? I never thought of that. You're a genius. Now fire up a bong with me and we'll see the light together.
 — ollylama

I think without the 'the' @L1 &3 this would be tighter and stronger:


will always

vanquish fire

Or at most, use 'the' only once.

Overall, very nice and refreshing. The spacing, oddly, gives it an airy sort of feel to it--makes me think of wind molding a flame into it's tear drop shape. i'm an odd person, sometimes.

 — unknown

thanks rixes
 — hank

fuct olly, i'm howling. can't thank you enough.
 — hank