|Everyone has a tell
Your face rains on me at the most inopportune moments,
when I'm about to fall asleep or when I'm making Ramen noodles.
I recall the smallest details, the sporadic hair growth on your cheek, the asymmetry of your teeth, the cowlick dominating your hairline.
I save the image as a consolation prize, but it offers little consolation.
Photographic memory is more like a curse now.
6 Aug 05
Rated 4.5 (8) by 2 users.
Active (2): 1, 6, 8
Inactive (22): 3, 4, 4, 5, 7, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
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HOLY CRAPOLI. This is wicked good. EVERYONE HAS FELT THIS WAY...you did it so well.
That title is great. wow
any poem with noodles in it is a winner in my book.
Very well done! Something the reader can feel and connect with.
Nice juxt of the banal with the reverent. (9)
thanks wamblicante and junky. I love it--
This a litle funny, a little sad....like that.
awwwwww. I love this.
i know what you mean
The only thing I could say is that when you were giving examples of the most "inopportune" moments, I felt like you should have had three, but I think that's mediocrity talking, so, brava.
Yep ,this hits the mark
bull's-eye. great job.
thank you so much for writing this
What a lovely slice of your brain~
um thank you.
Yes, there is truth in your poem and I like your wide long lines.
Wow! This is so astute and sharply crafted! This is so universal amoung us who have suffered the loss of someone and you protray it with uniqueness! well done!
Yeowch. Sharp, sharp. 4 and 5 bring a swift, sharp twist. Everything in the middle is clear and to the point. 1 is undeniably strong, too. Loverly indeed.
why the link?
I love it. it is almost sentimental, but then reflects the falling short of your satisfaction. such is life, the little flaws that never quite satisfy us. Or maybe we are the flawed or perfect and that is why we can never be content and must strive. beautifully done noodles!
thanks but i didnt write this. :)
That guy's been doing that a lot. He thought I wrote DIRTY SLUT, now he thinks you wrote my shit. Anyway, we know the truth.
Hey! I'm eating Ramen noodles right now.
Lots of great descriptions in a small package. I likee.
Every bum has a smell.
Every dumb fag's ass smells.
Better cum on my ass as well.
Everyone can relate to it, it's great.
Creative, but this isn't amazing. I would think that with your creativity you could do a lot better.
who are you? how do you know who I am?
i like this a lot ... my only suggestion comes out of a personal preference to not repeat words: perhaps the 2nd 'consolation' could be changed to 'comfort' or something similar? still, 9 from me
I completely agree with the repetition thing, however, in this instance, I used it to denote the monotony associated with consolation.
Ps: what is a tell?
telling is giving yourself away.
Like when you play poker, you try to have a poker face and not give away what you're holding. Most pro card players have learned to spot "tells" in their competitors...like a physical manifestation of a lie.
It's your poem the Molly? Thanks for the explanation, I understand now.
I admit nothing
thank you to everyone who faved this. it means something to me.
wow. how ridiculously twisted is it that I gave myself away while explaining what a tell is? that's fubar
The title transfixed me because it is true in every situation, everyone has a tell. If we observe people closely enough, we can decode their tells. That's one of the nicest parts of social-izing.The fact that your poem has received so many comments is proof of its gentle force. I love it. I love what you say and how you say it.
g in m ( one of my many tells)
thankyou very much.
I just want to thank all the folks who have this on their favs. That means SO much
this is so good.
everytime i read this, it reminds me of someone.
poetry, more like PROSE POETRY. lol!
Poetry is show and tell.
Try it to improve at least the final line, if not line 3 as well.
That would be, show us an image of something that would conclude that a "photographic memory is more like a curse now..." You could have your eyes blink like camera shudders impressing upon a strange transparent negative. That sort of idea shows the moment as amiss. Just try thinking of a proper metaphor that is also creative... I know you get the picture (pun intented) and you can do better.
Once you show more, your words may actually become poetry...instead of just some musing.
Y'see Pratortorian has this thing called passion, I've always struggled to reach it but the best I can come up with is whatevers. The poem is nice enough, can't help feeling sorry for the subject who has been both diefied and ridiculed by the memory but as in life time heals all wounds. I wonder about rope.
Take your wonders over to the otherside. Wonder as the rope snaps into place the bones in your neck-a key to a wonder no one wants to discover.
Has something upset you pra3torian? you seem tense.
I did not know I was so transparent.
did you mean tale in the title tell makes no sense
tell. yes it makes sense.
don't you play poker?
read all the comments until it makes sense, babe
lol, so true.
thank you all very much