poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Burden Of Dreams
larrylark

It's well known
 1
that opera lovers
 2
will stop at no extreme
 3
to realise a dream.
 4
Example:
 5
placing a house,
 6
(strange name "house",
 7
far removed
 8
from bricks and mortar,
 9
slate roof,
 10
skirting board with mouse,
 11
two front windows,door;)
 12
among exotic vegetation
 13
strewn across a jungle floor,
 14
to luxuriate in hot rain
 15
that stains mottled constellations
 16
of native huts,whose labour
 17
lifted it up,an edifice far beyond
 18
leafy canopies, piercing misty cloud
 19
so a soprano's notes could vibrate
 20
loudly among the galaxy of a billion stars.
 21

11 Aug 05

Rated 7 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1): 7
Inactive (5): 1, 9, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

KILLER title.

I LOVE THIS!!!

maybe take off 'of a billion stars'?  It seems to end there--

*10*
 — themolly

**stunning**
 — BoundFeet

Dear Themolly,
Thanks for reading ,i will consider your suggestion.
 — larrylark

This poem seems to have got such little responese, although it's so good.
 — Leanan

I meant response...
 — Leanan

Dear Leanan

Great poets have to put up with indifference. Thats why i can't understand why my crap is so little recognised.
 — larrylark

very nice
 — nisetru

Fitzcarraldo is certainly a vision to behold
 — unknown

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