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zippo
hank

prometheus' gift ended up
 1
in a metal golden section
 2
fits well in hand
 3
tick on open
 4
tock on close
 5
very much blue and yellow
 6
not much orange
 7
'close lid to extinguish'
 8

23 Aug 05

Rated 7 (7.5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 7, 8

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Comments:

This reads more like a list of attributes than a poem. I disagree that the lid tocks, I think it snaps. I also think you could do a lot more with this idea, it reads like you've had a good idea that you have found hard to convey.
 — unknown

ok. thanks.
 — hank

and oh, maybe it is.
 — hank

i alway find good ideas hard to convey. but it's not me.
 — hank

always.
 — hank

try it without line 4. 5. & 6.
 — unknown

no 3. 4 & 5. i can't see straight.
 — unknown

hu.  mmmk
 — unknown

4 and 5 most important to this poem.
 — hank

time.
 — hank

why is time important? i don't know much of prometheus other than he gave the gift of fire.
 — bettalpha

time is important here because the poem is about what happened to prometheus' gift over the course of time. i guess.
 — hank

'prometheus' gift ended up'
 — hank

yes i see it. even if it is a little tenuous.
 — bettalpha

tenuous?
 — hank

so, i've had a zippo for a while and a friend brought me another... and so i re-read zippo by hank...
nicely done.
 — lyom

thanks lyom. be careful with fire. (and be sure to keep extra flints stored under the felt)
 — hank

hahaha...
thanks, i'll remember that...
flint under felt, flint under felt, flint under felt

-lyom-
 — unknown

:D

thanks for the direction, hank. nice poem.
 — Rixes

good poem
 — chuckle_s

.
 — unknown

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