prometheus' gift ended up
in a metal golden section
fits well in hand
tick on open
tock on close
very much blue and yellow
not much orange
'close lid to extinguish'
23 Aug 05
Rated 7 (7.5) by 1 users.
Inactive (1): 7, 8
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This reads more like a list of attributes than a poem. I disagree that the lid tocks, I think it snaps. I also think you could do a lot more with this idea, it reads like you've had a good idea that you have found hard to convey.
and oh, maybe it is.
i alway find good ideas hard to convey. but it's not me.
try it without line 4. 5. & 6.
no 3. 4 & 5. i can't see straight.
4 and 5 most important to this poem.
why is time important? i don't know much of prometheus other than he gave the gift of fire.
time is important here because the poem is about what happened to prometheus' gift over the course of time. i guess.
'prometheus' gift ended up'
yes i see it. even if it is a little tenuous.
so, i've had a zippo for a while and a friend brought me another... and so i re-read zippo by hank...
thanks lyom. be careful with fire. (and be sure to keep extra flints stored under the felt)
thanks, i'll remember that...
flint under felt, flint under felt, flint under felt
thanks for the direction, hank. nice poem.
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