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Quirked
SweetPain

The beauty
 1
of it all
 2
is that you
 3
are never
 4
going to
 5
fall, claim to
 6
someonels-
 7
e's vices.
 8
You'll always
 9
be an orig-
 10
inal ent-
 11
ity, away
 12
on your own
 13
planet of
 14
fashion, po-
 15
litical,
 16
and moral
 17
values. I
 18
admire you
 19
for walking
 20
through the halls
 21
of highschool,
 22
a.k.a. the
 23
conformist
 24
waste land in
 25
a pink boa,
 26
snake skin, and
 27
studs. I love
 28
the way you
 29
sing to your-
 30
self when you
 31
are walking
 32
alone. I
 33
adore the
 34
way your mind
 35
is spoken
 36
freely with-
 37
out a doubt
 38
of any
 39
kind. I cry
 40
with laughter
 41
when you are
 42
smashed out
 43
of your face,
 44
but always
 45
intelli-
 46
gently spok-
 47
en. And then
 48
I see you
 49
strut, and come
 50
to the con-
 51
clusion that
 52
you are a
 53
gourgeus thing.
 54

27 Aug 05

Rated 7 (8.3) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (4): 7, 8, 8, 9, 10

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(157 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

nice poem.
 — hank

thankyou hank.
 — SweetPain

This rings true for me, and probably plenty other quirky guys and gals out here that just can't (or won't) fit in. Thank you muchly :-)

Fav & 10
 — sapphonix

suggestions-
take out 'aka' l23...it's not necessary with ()
'gorgeous' l54 unless an intentional spelling error, but why that would be i can't understand
i would scrap the last line altogether
i like the line breaks altho i think you may be overdoing the unconventional.

how did you know my boa was pink btw?
 — unknown

I really like how you made this poem long and thin.  Is this in reference to the ideal pretty of being thin?
 — ducktape

thanks sapphoni, and unknown.
ducktape, first this poem was just a regular free-verse no structure poem, but then i was given some advice to make it short and staccato so i did. i dont know if it was intentional to make a reference to being thin, but maybe it was subconsciously.
 — SweetPain

I like..i'll come back shortly..maybe sometime today..love the format too..
 — Gabriella

thanks gabriella!
 — SweetPain

so were you going to come back any time soon?
 — SweetPain

i like being quirky and i like this poem:-)
 — lonelygirl

thanks a bunch lonely girl.
 — SweetPain

I like it. Found it was one of those poems that as you read it, it picked up speed, I have no idea if thats correct, or what you entended, but... good poem!
 — Kellie_Fern

love it. goureus as in quirkily so? One suggestion, though. Change passive voice to active in lines 35+36 : you speak your mind. That would slink down smoother, to my mind.

Gorgeous poem
 — borntodance

thanks Kelli_Fern and borntodance!
 — SweetPain

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